Oh, yeah. There was this time I was pinned down by this guy that played left tackle for varsity... Well, at least he used to before he was a vampire... Anyway, he had this really, really thick neck, and all I had was a little, little Exact-O knife ... You're not loving this story.

Buffy ,'Beneath You'


Spike's Bitches 47: Someone Dangerous Could Get In  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


erikaj - Aug 17, 2012 11:38:55 am PDT #18900 of 30001
"already on the kiss-cam with Karl Marx"-

If he does want to hook up exclusively, you'll know pretty fast.


Zenkitty - Aug 17, 2012 11:41:46 am PDT #18901 of 30001
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

Since you know that's not true, do you want to go into it with that attitude?

I don't actually know that's not true. I figured my attitude was "realistic".


Polter-Cow - Aug 17, 2012 11:55:10 am PDT #18902 of 30001
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!

Since you know that's not true, do you want to go into it with that attitude?

I don't actually know that's not true.

I am a guy. It is not true.


Zenkitty - Aug 17, 2012 12:19:44 pm PDT #18903 of 30001
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

I am a guy. It is not true.

You were just the other day unhappy because you went to a dating thing and met a girl who might like to be friends but didn't seem to want to date you.

And yes, this is a dating site and I'm on it, and I wouldn't mind finding a boyfriend. I'm just freaking out a little at the idea of dealing with something that's emotionally fraught for me, with a person who doesn't know my issues and doesn't really deserve to be burdened with them. And yes, I know I don't have to have sex, but I feel like cutting off the possibility of sex - while making me more comfortable - also cuts off the possibility of a relationship developing with a guy I met on a dating site. I hope I'm being clear; I'm not trying to say "all guys are horndogs who only want one thing from any woman"; I don't believe that. It's the context, the context of a dating site, that makes me feel like sex is *expected*. Which is why I've been generally avoiding dating sites and rarely even check the one I am on.


Polter-Cow - Aug 17, 2012 12:21:30 pm PDT #18904 of 30001
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!

You were just the other day unhappy because you went to a dating thing and met a girl who might like to be friends but didn't seem to want to date you.

Dating isn't sex.


Typo Boy - Aug 17, 2012 12:25:05 pm PDT #18905 of 30001
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.

One important thing about dating is there is a good chance that successful dating leads to sex.


Polter-Cow - Aug 17, 2012 12:29:13 pm PDT #18906 of 30001
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!

Right. My original response was actually because I thought Zen meant that guys were on dating sites for sex, as in casual hook-up sex upon meeting.


Typo Boy - Aug 17, 2012 12:36:54 pm PDT #18907 of 30001
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.

I think she means just that they are there in hopes that it will ultimately lead to a relationship that includes sex, not necessarily casual or on the first date, though I'm sure that is out there too.


Cass - Aug 17, 2012 12:50:10 pm PDT #18908 of 30001
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.

Dating isn't sex. If you are on a dating site, you should be open to dating. You don't have to necessarily date anyone or have sex with anyone you meet there. But being open to dating seems like the reason you'd be on a dating site.

Some men on dating sites probably are looking for sex. Some women really probably are too. Sex is often, though not always, a part of dating and a part of relationships.

But going in with preconceived notions on any side just seems like you are setting yourself up for failure and then bitterness because you knew that it was going to be that way even from the start. Why bother?

Vague disclaimers and all: I mean, I'm not on a dating site right now. Because I don't think I am ready to actively look for someone to date. I know this. So I am not on a dating site.


Zenkitty - Aug 17, 2012 1:06:57 pm PDT #18909 of 30001
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

My original response was actually because I thought Zen meant that guys were on dating sites for sex, as in casual hook-up sex upon meeting.

I don't mean that. Some guys are, sure, but some girls are too. I mean what Typo said

just that they are there in hopes that it will ultimately lead to a relationship that includes sex, not necessarily casual or on the first date,

The expectation is there, and I feel anxious about how to manage it. I'm not even entirely sure what I *want*, which doesn't help.

Dating isn't sex.

This has not been my experience. I don't mean to say that dating is only about sex, but sex or the expectation of sex is part of dating. I know there are couples who date without sex, meaning to save themselves for marriage, but someone like that wouldn't be dating me.