I'm going to Drinking Liberally this week. Rationally, I know that Dem events in my era tend to skew older than even the silver foxes that make up one of my many types. It should just be a chance for political chat and dinner out. Maybe waitstaff flirtage. But there is still a stupid part that's all "wouldn't it be great if this CHANGED YOUR LIFE?" Because I need a change pretty badly, but it's a lot of pressure for TGI McFunster's...

For myself, one of the major selling points with online and speed dating was that at least I could be reasonably sure that the women I would meet were there for much the same thing as I was. Apparently one of my major "I don't know how dating works" sticking points was that I don't even know how one broaches the topic.

I actually feel I had a meet-cute start to my relationship with Bec (not to mention a courtship full of Against All Odds kinds of drama). With Biyi things were considerably less fraught. Jim Steinman is not writing the story of our marriage.

We are not feeling disadvantaged: [link]

P-C just acknowledging that is huge and you can change the way you think/react, but just be sure not to expect instant changes.

This past year has brought a lot of changes for me and one is learning to be nicer to myself. I'm really hard on myself and I'd get in situations that weren't that bad, but I'd mentally berate myself into panic and anxiety. My former therapist pointed this out to me and told me to be kind to myself.

The change started just by acknowledging what I was doing once it started. And then being able to see when I was headed in that direction and change mental directions.

Hopefully you'll be able to do that too. I'm sure it will make your life less stressful and more relaxed.

OK, in an effort to get out there, I logged into OKC, sent messages to 2 profiles. And found a speed dating event around the corner from work next week... haven't signed up for it... yet...

I don't have any advice on actual dating. I've never been in a situation where someone asked me out on a date- I've hung out with guys until we were dating, I've done the online dating/met someone. And I met Will on Second Life. Even then we hung out until we got to know each other better. Although he did kinda freak me out when he was going to be in Florida and wanted to meet for coffee, I wasn't ready for that. Especially since he was about 5 hours a way, I told him coffee wouldn't work, so he tried to change it to dinner. I kept insisting it wasn't practical for us to meet so we didn't. (We hadn't really communicated outside of Second Life at this point).

Then a few months later we were more serious and the rest is history.

And found a speed dating event around the corner from work next week... haven't signed up for it... yet...

Doooooo iiiiiiiiit.

Kate, by the way, you're right in that I was placing more importance on it than warranted, but you may also be overestimating the amount of importance I was putting on it. I went to a dating event, so I tried to get a date out of it. The whole reason my reaction was "meh" was because I was trying not to care too much if she did or didn't want to go out on a date. So she does not, whatever. Maybe she will after a game night or five, maybe she won't. No big deal. I have a friend I would like to ask out and a potential future wife to e-mail.

I'm going to Drinking Liberally this week.

I've been looking into doing the same. No idea of the relative age of the group out here yet.

Y'all are light years ahead of me on the dating front. Ok, I've been on a couple of "audition style" first dates with no second dates. Part of me is hoping that volunteering for the Dems will help me meet a like minded single guy. Could happen, right?

Yeah...

P-C, while in the shower, I had a silly thought about your situation. And forgive me, I'm not making light of the situation, or trying to nag or anything. But I saw a little irony, in that it seems you are wanting an "just add water and love will bloom" situation, which is kinda like an arranged marriage would have.

(runs and hides)

Seriously. What I think we both need is a like minded wingman. You coming down this way anytime soon? If we both went to a speed dating thing, I'd guess it'd be nice to have a friend in the room to ease the anxiety. (Not to use that as an excuse to not go to the one next week).

Kate, by the way, you're right in that I was placing more importance on it than warranted, but you may also be overestimating the amount of importance I was putting on it. I went to a dating event, so I tried to get a date out of it. The whole reason my reaction was "meh" was because I was trying not to care too much if she did or didn't want to go out on a date. So she does not, whatever. Maybe she will after a game night or five, maybe she won't. No big deal. I have a friend I would like to ask out and a potential future wife to e-mail.

Fair enough. I still think the game night could be fun!