Does that count as "meet cute"?

Depends. Who was wearing the skirt and heels?

Maybe in a foreign film, Tep. (I've had a few relationships, but they were pretty free of, like, magic, and "I just knew," and a special way we met, and all that cinematic stuff.)

Who was wearing the skirt and heels?

Who do you think? (That was a grammatically vague sentence, wasn't it? I should edit it. I probably won't, though. It's kind of a given that *I* am not the one wearing heels.)

they were pretty free of, like, magic, and "I just knew," and a special way we met, and all that cinematic stuff.

Ah, to be fair, that was just the first time I met him. There was no magic, and I didn't "just know" anything other than how astonishing it was he could walk in those heels like he was born in them. It took a year of being friends before I thought, "Oh, crap. I think maybe I have Feelings for him." (And that was pretty much my reaction verbatim, because I didn't want to fuck up a friendship. Plus I didn't know if I could date a cross-dresser. But mostly I didn't want to fuck up a friendship. But then I went and did it anyway.)

In retrospect, Hubby and I had a "meet cute", but I wouldn't have pursued it if Amy hadn't vetted him and orchestrated a second meeting.

I think that's basically the root of the problem. I'm getting into the dating game stupidly late and I don't know how anything works and I just want a magic fantasy to happen and get it over with.

Not P-C, but see many of my relationship problems in his posts. For me, I never know how to bridge the gap between friends and let's try something more. Being shy doesn't help any. Also need to get out more.

Hec and I met in a crowd, when he brought Buffy chocolate bars to the S5 finale party. He seemed bouncy and pleasant and I didn't notice him much because, well, Buffy S5 finale! Also, I ended up drinking Scotch and having a long intense rambly college-esque theology/lit/geekly pursuits conversation with another Buffista, who I think has since moved to South America.

(Dash, in case you're lurking: Hec still has your TV set in our storage space! I think the Buffy S6 and S7 tapes he made at your request have been repurposed a while ago, though, but we'll loan you the DVDs if you ever come back, because you are a splendid person.)

Anyhow, it was friendship-based and took a very long time. And, like Tep, I've never had a date-date that went well (okay, to be fair, there were a couple, but now that I think about them they were with people I already knew and with whom there'd already been a history of at least acquaintanceship and mutual professional admiration that slid into friendship and mutual sparkage; the few dates I've been on that were official First Dates With Potential Boyfriends Auditioning Me As A Potential Girlfriend--and that one where the perfectly nice but overeager potential was desperately trying to ace his audition and just making me nervous and embarrassed instead--were all pretty awful).

Seriously, though: (A) A lot of people don't know how dating works, or else they think they're pretty bad at it. You just learn through doing it and trying your hardest to be decent, respectful, and open to possibilities, and reining in your fantasies as much as you can. (B) You *can* change the way you think about dating, meeting women, and starting a relationship. A bunch of people in this thread have given you good advice about doing just that. Try to relax. You're going to be fine.

"Oh, crap. I think maybe I have Feelings for him." (And that was pretty much my reaction verbatim, because I didn't want to fuck up a friendship.

HAAAAA. yes. I remember that "OH CRAP" feeling very well.