I don't mean to give people stress after stress...I just meant, I don't know, you're trying to meet people...not sell them Polter-Flakes. I would agree that being interested and trying to listen would help.

I don't mean to give people stress after stress...

I didn't think you were. It's also good advice to relax in situations like that, but I think as soon as you decide to relax, you start thinking "Am I relaxed? How about now? HOW ABOUT NOW???" and you rapidly Hulk out, which is kind of the opposite of relaxed.

But then I am a very tense person, so I don't understand people who can relax on command. (My reaction when someone tells me to relax is to want to punch them, which is, I think, not their desired result.)

not sell them Polter-Flakes.

Fine, fine, I will definitely shampoo tomorrow!

But bring your Honey-Roasted Polter Crunch.

No, I have no idea what that means.

For sure bring your Polter Krispies; that way you will snap, crackle, and pop!

Well, it's true...it's also true that it would be easier to look at footage of an encounter going right and say "like that," than describe what some of those things are like."Relax..." is trite and not-helpful though...you're right. Maybe staying in the moment? Because I know sometimes I meet someone cool and either I start planning our relationship...or picturing how wrecked I'll be when they don't call, or are secretly ableist bigots, or whatever...

Here is my best advice: don't think about it from the POV of "attracting women." Think about it from the POV of wanting to find out what these cool nerd women are like. Someone whose attitude is "I want to get to know you, Other Interesting Person," is WAY more appealing than "I want you to find me attractive!"

This is really, really, good advice. Show interest in them. And don't just flirt with the cute ones!

Aims inspired me to look up some BBT advice. You could say this:

Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz e-lec-tric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will nev-er for-get.

Maybe drop the "I'm Leonard." Other than that, works like a charm, I bet.

P.-C., I second the suggestion to get a haircut like that. It will look fantastic on you. Just ask the stylist to show you how to make it happen yourself.

I used to be confused and bewildered when guys seemed interested in me too. I solved the problem by, um, well, deciding that I deserved it. I know, not helpful.

The "Try but not too hard! Flirt but don't be flirty!" stuff just makes me think of the recent XKCD "what someone is thinking during conversation" thing. Which is SO TRUE.