I do come on strong. I've tried aloof and I'm just not capable at this time (if ever): just too nerdy. I am decisive and I too trust my instincts (yet they fail me so consistently)

OMG, totes you (well, how you describe yourself a lot).

Leave it alone for a while, maybe, and reach out if you think he'd be a good friend? Maybe? I don't know. I suck at advice.

He's trying to make you feel guilty. Don't go for it. "No is a complete sentence."--Gavin de Becker, my not-so-secret security boyfriend. But then, this could be why I'm hopelessly single. But I just don't want you out somewhere with his tongue in your ear discussing your lack of chemistry. Instead of sensitivity, I sense manipulation, ie, prove you're a nice girl/ have faith I can change by meeting with me to say you won't fuck me.

I totally think he's a Nice Guy, rather than, you know, a...nice guy. Maybe I'm mean. though, in addition to clinically unlovable. Not being in love for two administrations probably does that to a person.

Combination of Vicodin and TENS made me sleep all morning and half the afternoon, but I'm feeling a little better now. Still not great, but I can walk around the house without too much pain.

and my instincts where that you are a catch (yes, even with the depression issues.) and they also told me that I'd lost you by the end of our date.

Hey, he's right you are a catch. But he also lost you. Rip the bandaid off. Nothing good comes from prolonging this. For him or for you. It's not even worth being "wanted" and "sought after" because you know you aren't into him so it'll just lead to guilt for stringing him along.

Cass is totally my cold bucket of reality today (which is good). And here's the thing - if he is so much like me in that way, he will *totally lie* to me and himself about being okay with it, like I did with StW.

erika, I don't think he's a Nice Guy. He may be a nice guy. Too soon to tell.

I'm with Cass, his instincts are right on both counts. You don't need to feel manipulated into a relationship. And I also would caution you against projecting too much of yourself and your previous situation onto him because he will use that to manipulate you.

In other words, you are not StW here, you are still you.

I totally think he's a Nice Guy

Why do you think so? I mean, I don't have a vibe off him or anything, but what he shared seemed reasonable "just checking", and if he sticks to his word that's totally how adults should act.

What is a Nice Guy, as opposed to a nice guy?

Cass is totally my cold bucket of reality today (which is good).

I am trying to be a tepid bucket of reality. Less startling than cold. Maybe a comfy bath of reality.