Sox, may I recommend Yo, Is This Racist?

That's an awesome site. Unfortunately, I think it would bounce right off relative's shiny metal head.

Sending you lots of strength and extra chips for the cookies, smonster.

Good for you, smonster! Enjoy the cookies!!

smonster,

yes. you will get a message.

I give it 1 week.

I feel great!! I'm hanging with R and making cookies, mostly as an excuse to drink milk. I may fall apart tomorrow, but I feel great now. And Nora, R wants to hang out with you more.

Aw! The feeling is mutual.

I think you'll get some sort of response, but I bet it won't be for a week or so.

Betting is now open! Will I get a message back, and if so, how long will it take?

I know it's really hard but it's probably for the best if you aren't invested in getting a response or what that response might be.

Well, I wouldn't really call a betting pool an investment, per se.

(too soon?)

A week is probably a good guess. I'll keep you posted.

why did St Woot get the boot?

I hadn't really talked about it so much here lately.

I haven't seen him or really talked to him in three weeks. He doesn't want a relationship, he wants occasional companionship with occasional benefits at his convenience. He doesn't put any emotional energy into us whatsoever, and tends to pull away after we've had a particularly fun time together. I've been trying to hang on until his job changed to give him a lot more free time, but realized that it isn't going to make a difference. This is actually the third time we've had this conversation, to use the term loosely.

I've been lying (ineffectively) to myself and him for the last six months. The email was mostly for my sense of closure. Now to take his number out of my phone so I can't drunk text him and start this thing all over again, which is what happened last time.

I know it's really hard but it's probably for the best if you aren't invested in getting a response or what that response might be.

I know. I have a tiny investment, but mostly curiosity, and I'm playing it off by joking about it. Because I'm feeling a little giddy and silly - I always feel better after I get shit off my chest.

Now to take his number out of my phone so I can't drunk text him and start this thing all over again, which is what happened last time.

Did you do it yet?

Did you do it yet?

...

...

How about now?

Seska - lots of good suggestions already. I second the one about putting him in one room on his own until he begins to feel more confident.

Absolutely do not let this cat outside until he knows this is home. It takes at least 10 days, if not longer, to recalibrate what I suspect is a sense of the earths electromagnetic fields. Let him loose before the recalibration process is complete, his navigation system will take him back to his previous home. Let him loose before he wants this to be his home - same thing - in fact I would not be surprised but what part of the recalibration process involves the choice to make the new place home.

One further tip for helping cats get used to each other, is at meal time put their dishes on either side of the door between Merlin's space and your established cats (forgive me, I can't remember their names). That way they begin to associate the presence of the other cat(s) with something nice. Of course, that does not work if they don't have set meal times.