I wish I could share my cardboard box fort.

{{{ cass }}}

I'd like a fort. They sound comforting.

Sounds like a perfect time to flop on the floor and have a good cry for about five to ten minutes before you have to go be a grown-up again.

I keep doing that thing where you lean against a wall but end up sliding down to the floor while crying. Four weeks ago, I thought that was fictional and just looked like how you'd expect sad to look in a movie. Apparently not.

I do have a friend coming over in an hour and a half. And I've only got to take the unused syringes to donate at the vet left to do. I don't think I left anything that I want back at the boarding facility. Apart from Kittenish. I want her back more than anything. At least in a few days, I will have what is left of her with me.

Oh Cass, I'm glad you have a friend coming over soon. Let your friend take care of you, you don't have to be a grown up if you don't want to.

Four weeks ago, I thought that was fictional and just looked like how you'd expect sad to look in a movie

As long as you're not doing that thing where you close the door, and both you and him touch it soulfully as if you can "feel* through it, but it's all too poignant for words. Or eye contact.

Which is a roundabout way of deflecting from--I wish it were fiction, dammit, for everyone.

Oh, Cass. I am so sorry. I really do understand. I don't cry for Mickey every day anymore (so I know I'm getting more used to him being gone...I'll never be "over it"), but I still cry regularly. Cried for him on the way home from work.

Add the stress and worry about your dad? And it truly sucks. My dad's not well. He's been slowly declining for several years and I think he's slipping into the final stages. Because of his declining health, I have very complicated feelings about this.

To sum up, I'm sorry, love. I wish I could make things better for you.

To sum up, I'm sorry, love. I wish I could make things better for you.

I wish you could too.

Dad has an ocology appt soon where we find out treatment options and then it's a question of his strength both mentally or physically.

Talking to him last night when he asked how my cat was doing was brutal. Because she's gone and either no one told him or he forgot. Probably no one told him. It hurts him to hear his little girl crying because she's lost too much.

Oh Cass, what a conversation to have to have.

Worrying about your parents' health is such a hard space. It's such a reversal of the order of things, and I don't think there's any way to prepare for it. And it truly sucks having to be strong for them. And yet.

I'm sorry.

Oh Cass I wish there was something I could do.

Cass, much comfort to you. I'm so sorry for your loss and struggles.