Am I crazy for contemplating a move to Italy? Too soon to be making major life decisions, keeping in mind that any such move would take a while to pull off?

I don't think you're crazy at all! (says the lady who decided to chuck it all to move to New Orleans 'cause she felt like it.) I mean, it doesn't need to be permanant- if it doesn't work out, you can always move back to be with your family.

I cannot speak to the best way of processing such intense grief, but from what you've said here, you are unhappy with your job and can't sleep in your own bed at home (which I totally get)... maybe a big change would help with the process? A spiritual renewal of sorts? Finding your place in this new world? Wiser Buffistas, am I like giving the worst advice in the world?

Are you putting your house on the market for short sale?

Maria, I think because a move like that would take some time to put together, why not? Start looking into it, seeing what you might need to do it. If nothing else, it will give you something to focus on for the time being.

Just keep in mind how much you might miss your family here, you know?

Nora, you're right on the job. The bed is a different story, for various reasons. The basement is really the issue, because that's where I found him, and it was his man-cave. Short of a complete redecoration, it will always remind me of him.

I'm normally a very cautious person. I don't take risks, and the move would be a big one, but I feel the need to hold onto things that make me happy. My fear is romanticizing it.

Are you putting your house on the market for short sale?

Not yet. Nothing would get done before the expiration of the mortgage debt cancellation act (unless it's extended), and there's no way I can afford taxes on that. What to do with the house is a question to be figured out at this point.

Just keep in mind how much you might miss your family here, you know?

That's valid, and it bears discussion with them. I don't want to leave L all on her own to deal with my aging parents.

Am I crazy for contemplating a move to Italy? Too soon to be making major life decisions, keeping in mind that any such move would take a while to pull off?

Not crazy at all. You should definitely look into it. And we'll come visit if you pull it off.

Generally the Dave Ramsey advice is not to make any major decisions for a year. But there's nothing wrong with thinking about it.

Not crazy at all. You should definitely look into it. And we'll come visit if you pull it off.

Definitely. It might not be the best idea right now, or it might be exactly what you need right now, but you can't figure that out unless you look into it. And if you do, we'll definitely come visit.

I've been practicing piano. I haven't really played much in years, just fooled around with learning to play the Imperial March and stuff like that. I decided that my goal for this week is one piece by Bach and one excerpt from Carmen -- they're both within what I can do if I practice and work at it. I want to get back to the point where I can just sit down and have ten memorized songs that I can just start playing.

Maria,

can you be in Italy for several months? Does it need to be a move? Maybe you need to plan for an 8 weeks trip, and then come back to plan for something more permanent?

I totally support moving to Italy if you think it would help--as everyone else said, it's not like you can't move BACK.

Would you plan to get a job of some sort, there, or find another way to live? Do you know what city/part you'd want to live in?

Right now, it's percolating.

le n, I spent my summers growing up there, and I have dual citizenship. My dream once I retired was to split my time between the U.S. and Italy. Permanence isn't really an issue. I can use our place over there as a base of operations to figure out exactly where I want to be. Unfortunately, the job market in southern Italy is not good, and I'd most likely have to find something in Rome and/or places north.

meara, I'd need to work. I'd go crazy without doing so, and while I have savings, it won't go far, especially if I have to keep the house here. The Italian citizenship helps since I won't need any special permits.

This is just something that's been in the back of my head for a while, though I need to make sure it isn't a knee-jerk reaction to the massive upheaval in my life right now.

If I do go, my door is always open to Buffistas.

Maria, for what it's worth, this feels right to me. I think without a doubt you need to move out of your current home--it's far too painful for you to be there--and why not give Italy a try, especially if you have a place to stay in the short term as you figure things out? Your local family will understand, truly.