Maria, for what it's worth, this feels right to me. I think without a doubt you need to move out of your current home--it's far too painful for you to be there--and why not give Italy a try, especially if you have a place to stay in the short term as you figure things out? Your local family will understand, truly.

Am I crazy for contemplating a move to Italy?

Not at all.

Too soon to be making major life decisions...?

I think so. I mean, that's the conventional wisdom, and it makes sense to me that waiting a year (or thereabouts) will help give you some more clarity on whether or not this is the right decision for you. But thinking about it and exploring your options sounds like a great focus for your energy right now. You don't have to make any decisions before you're ready.

The one caveat I would add is to keep in mind that it might mean you would be cut off from much of your current support system. Do you have family or friends in Italy that you would try to move to be close to? We'll be here wherever you go, of course, but having people you know and love close by, where you can see them whenever you need to, may be very important to you for a while yet.

Maria, I think it's good to think about it. It's not just like you are packing a bag and fleeing. You're taking time and planning. A total change of scenery gives you some space, and a different perspective. And, like everyone said, you can always come back.

...Now that I reread my post, I sound like kind of a downer, which wasn't my intention! I'm honestly thrilled to see you thinking about moving forward and making a positive change in your life. If you've got a place you can go for a while to figure things out, that sounds like an excellent plan.

Do you have family or friends in Italy that you would try to move to be close to?

I do, though the larger portion is in Paris.

We'll be here wherever you go, of course, but having people you know and love close by, where you can see them whenever you need to, may be very important to you for a while yet.

And this is why I haven't already left. When I am comfortable being alone again, well....

I'm not talking about actually doing anything for a while. It's going to take at least 6 months to close out his estate. If my hand is forced by outside circumstances, that's one thing, but a deliberate abandoning of responsibilities here isn't going to happen. I'm not built that way.

Oooh. Screw Italy, move to Paris! :)

And one of the things I love about Buffistas is wherever I go, there you are! It was very reassuring when I moved cross-country to know that as soon as I got the internet fired up, it was just as usual!

I also tend to be a pretty spontaneous person, so waiting a year feels way too long to me, at least in terms of decisions about moving or changing jobs. I can see that it is good advice, but sometimes I think just GOING is the best way to start fresh, to give your body and brain a hard reset. Not saying I'm right, just that I know I'm biased.

If I do go, my door is always open to Buffistas.

apparently, we can start planning a FTF in Summer '13...

Now that I reread my post, I sound like kind of a downer, which wasn't my intention!

I didn't take it that way at all, Kate! The fact that I've even acknowledged this outside of my head is huge. Like I said, I cannot afford to romanticize this.

Screw Italy, move to Paris!

I'm fluent in Italian, NSM in French! I can converse, but I'm nowhere near the proficiency required for business. And I think that it's more difficult to get a job, even with the EU citizenship. There's a preference for French citizens, though I should talk with my cousins about that. The nice thing is that Paris is, at max, a three-hour flight from anywhere in Italy.

Sorella, changing jobs can't happen fast enough. I'm certainly not going to wait a year for that if I can help it. A lot is going to depend on that. If I can't make the change there (into a job I actually respect and enjoy), then the hard reset is much more palatable. I'm not opposed to moving somewhere else in the states for a position, either. That requires much less of a mental commitment from me.

I'm not opposed to moving somewhere else in the states for a position, either. That requires much less of a mental commitment from me.

West Chester is no Italy, but it's lovely! And it would be closer to the family restaurant! (And me and Sox and JenP are here ...)