Yeah, I can relate. Today I hit the regularly scheduled complete misanthropic portion of my fundraising summer. I'll get over it. But right now I'm only in week two, and I never want to talk about what I do or solicit money from anyone ever again. Right now I am just one burning wish to go home. But I recognize it for what it is, i.e., regularly scheduled, and it's culture shock as well, and it'll pass and I'll raise the necessary funds and I'll go home. Eventually.

One thing I've found is that the passive promotion isn't as strong in getting new clients as the active networking. Talking directly to people, getting a card into their hands, or having a current client recommend in person is golden.

Yeah, I'm STILL working on finishing up the website, but I have this silly idea I should complete the project I have going first. I've been working on it, but I had to address some time-sensitive stuff today that was active networking.

It's going really well (THANKS, BUFFISTAS!) but I am about wiped, mentally, right now.

I'm going to take a couple of hours to tweak some more networking stuff, and run errands (get milk, cat food and Tylenol) and then i will be just plain writing on this project tonight.

After the promoing stuff, it will be easy and peaceful.

amych, Ginger, I know! We'll have to work through this together. I could never be a hooker; pimping myself is too damned hard. "Please sleep with me! I have no fleas and I hardly smell! I take checks!"

Liese, that sounds like a total (but necessary) PITA. It's got be weird, as you are asking for money for an organization...but the organization is basically YOU, so there would be a strange thing. I would have no prob asking people to donate to an organization, but it would be more difficult if I were intimately connected to it fiscal responsibility.

Huh. But that's what I'm doing, I guess. But your org is altruistic; I mean, yes, it pays your bills, but you are helping the world. Sure, I'm offering services people want/need, but I'm...well, damn, I guess I'm changing people's worlds, on a small scale.

My mental processes, let me show you them...

So... here's the deal. I'm having confidence issues with going out and getting leads for my business. I need to get over myself. Many people out there are not like me, in that they actually enjoy talking to random strangers who are nice.

I don't mind making calls to leads (I don't cold call), and don't mind the 1 in 5 odds of getting someone booked. I love running a class/party, I love the product and really have fun doing the meat of the business, but...

What have you all done/read/practiced to get yourself comfortable with trolling for leads (as I call it, which, as I think about it, I may need to reframe. Ahem)?

I haven't even gotten bad reactions when I've done it, and sometimes even good ones, but I just need to get over myself and depersonalize the whole process. I can read pretty quickly whether someone is interested, or at least willing to listen, and if I sense someone is annoyed, I can deftly get out of their hair. So why so stressy??

What're you selling, Jen?

I think you're getting stressy because you're conflating selling yourself with your product. And it's is a product, right, not a service.

Also, you're nice and polite and I'm betting, like me, you have a slight horror of putting people out or inconveniencing them.

I'm still working on this myself, but basically, I remind myself that people are grown and can make their own decisions regarding whether or not to hire me or offer assistance, and I just work on being polite and courteous.

I think you have to trust in people's ability to say No, or I don't have time or an interest, and then move on. It's not personal, and if you are polite, most people are going to be just fine with hearing from you, even if they don't buy.

Oh, duh, I should have said... Mary Kay.

I'm betting, like me, you have a slight horror of putting people out or inconveniencing them.

Heh, yes, indeed.

All good thoughts - and, yeah, it's definitely the product and not me, and I do need to remind myself of that. See, I can totally chat with people out in the world; the past decade of retail has given me this ability. And I do sort of enjoy random conversations with strangers, even though I said I don't. I admit it, I'm not quite as introverted as I like to think I am or used to be. Friends have even commented on my behavior out in the wilds being different over the past couple of years.

Like, I randomly compliment clothing, jewelry, shoes... all the things I love to look at (and not in a creepy way!), and it often starts a conversation, but now I feel weirdly icky if I try to turn the convo to my biz to garner a lead.

Before, I was just randomly chatting. Now I feel all predatory. I need to just get over that feeling. Like, if T hadn't approached me (well, through my sister), I never would have found the product, which I genuinely like, and then the business op later on. So there are women out there for whom the same will be true. Not a majority, but some. So I need to just keep doing it.

I think I have some reframing to do to really get this business.

I completely agree with everything Erin said.

Tell us a little bit about what you do, and the sort of outcomes you want. I'd be happy to help with some 'scripting' that might make you feel more comfortable with the verbal part of the program.

You said you love the product. Well, the law of averages would suggest that a lot of other people will too. It's your job to help them get it, right? You are not imposing on anyone by making them aware of a great thing!

Erin is right about trusting people to take care of themselves. It may not be right for them, but they'll remember the product and perhaps send other people your way. Sharing a good thing can never be bad, in my opinion.

So there are women out there for whom the same will be true. Not a majority, but some. So I need to just keep doing it.

Mary Kay? Oh my. You have a TIME TESTED winner there!

What is great about MK, is that there is a solid subculture there that adores the product. (I've thought that the few that I have used over the years were terrific.)

Tapping into that community might help, both in terms of building your confidence that the product really does sell itself, and for getting referrals to warm leads.

I was composing while you posted, bonny, so my post is above yours.

Great thoughts and advice, both, thank you. Bookmarking.

I think that's it - trust The People to make of the offer what they will, and do my job by actually making one. And trust that my comfort level in this area will grow as the business does.

Hee. Crossposted again.

Yeah, I definitely have amazing resources to tap into, bonny. It's just such a different way of "being" for me, if you know what I mean. But, while it's slightly uncomfortable now, I know it's just because it's new. I have to learn how to navigate the waters is all.

Nice to have this thread to come to, I gotta say.

Since the thread is kind of quiet at the mo, can I just take a moment to vent?

Disappointment is the number one impediment in my business life. Of all the available emotions, it is the one I deal least well with and I have it on three fronts right now.

First is a woman I've done really good work for over the years...honestly, helped to completely turn her around in a very, very bad situation.

We got her to a place where she could manage on her own (always my goal) and she 'graduated.'

This week, I get an email asking for a 30 minute session (which I don't do) to talk about a MAJOR transition because she needs help navigating a truly difficult choice.

I write back to say how proud I am of her and that I'm always here for her, and that we can certainly do a one-off session.

She writes back that, Oh NO. I clearly misunderstood her. She just wanted to talk to me 'as a friend.'

In other words, I do a great job, but she doesn't want to pay me for it.

Ugh.

Second, a good friend asked me to meet with his partner over "some pretty deep issues." That, and a recent grief, where leading the partner to 'want to talk to someone.'

I set clear boundaries on the meeting and the partner comes. I'm pretty thrilled to be able to help in any way I can.

Turns out, the partner believes that 'therapy is bullshit' and he's had such bad experiences with past practitioners that this opinion will never change.

So. My life's work is rubbish and I'm in league with the devil.

Okay, you are sitting on my couch for 2 hours, why now?

In the end, I had insulted and hurt him because he just wanted to talk about the funeral but not about himself.

Sigh. He came in expecting a bad outcome and then manufactured one. It was such a circus, it sort of took my breath away.

Lastly, I'm really excited about a new project that I can't wait to tell you all about, but I want to wait until it is fully formed.

One aspect of it is the new website. I found a site I like VERY much and wrote to the owner to find out who created it for her. She said that she built it within her hosting program and thanked me for the compliment.

There are no copyright bugs on it anywhere and the woman is super laid back about it.

I mocked up something similar, but different for my web guy. But he can't seem grasp the simplicity of it.

A friend describes the look as 'spa-like.' Really, REALLY simple and clean.

Every new iteration I get of it has more elements, with no explanation of why they are necessary or desirable. If they are SEO things, or I'd be better off with having them than not, the just TELL ME.

It's not remotely true that this stumbling block should get in the way of the many other things I can and need to do on the project, but this one aggravation has me totally stymied.

Erk. Forgive the free floating whining. It does not good, but I just needed to get it out of my body.