Since the thread is kind of quiet at the mo, can I just take a moment to vent?

Disappointment is the number one impediment in my business life. Of all the available emotions, it is the one I deal least well with and I have it on three fronts right now.

First is a woman I've done really good work for over the years...honestly, helped to completely turn her around in a very, very bad situation.

We got her to a place where she could manage on her own (always my goal) and she 'graduated.'

This week, I get an email asking for a 30 minute session (which I don't do) to talk about a MAJOR transition because she needs help navigating a truly difficult choice.

I write back to say how proud I am of her and that I'm always here for her, and that we can certainly do a one-off session.

She writes back that, Oh NO. I clearly misunderstood her. She just wanted to talk to me 'as a friend.'

In other words, I do a great job, but she doesn't want to pay me for it.

Ugh.

Second, a good friend asked me to meet with his partner over "some pretty deep issues." That, and a recent grief, where leading the partner to 'want to talk to someone.'

I set clear boundaries on the meeting and the partner comes. I'm pretty thrilled to be able to help in any way I can.

Turns out, the partner believes that 'therapy is bullshit' and he's had such bad experiences with past practitioners that this opinion will never change.

So. My life's work is rubbish and I'm in league with the devil.

Okay, you are sitting on my couch for 2 hours, why now?

In the end, I had insulted and hurt him because he just wanted to talk about the funeral but not about himself.

Sigh. He came in expecting a bad outcome and then manufactured one. It was such a circus, it sort of took my breath away.

Lastly, I'm really excited about a new project that I can't wait to tell you all about, but I want to wait until it is fully formed.

One aspect of it is the new website. I found a site I like VERY much and wrote to the owner to find out who created it for her. She said that she built it within her hosting program and thanked me for the compliment.

There are no copyright bugs on it anywhere and the woman is super laid back about it.

I mocked up something similar, but different for my web guy. But he can't seem grasp the simplicity of it.

A friend describes the look as 'spa-like.' Really, REALLY simple and clean.

Every new iteration I get of it has more elements, with no explanation of why they are necessary or desirable. If they are SEO things, or I'd be better off with having them than not, the just TELL ME.

It's not remotely true that this stumbling block should get in the way of the many other things I can and need to do on the project, but this one aggravation has me totally stymied.

Erk. Forgive the free floating whining. It does not good, but I just needed to get it out of my body.

But, while it's slightly uncomfortable now, I know it's just because it's new. I have to learn how to navigate the waters is all.

I'm sure it WILL get easier. Especially once you find a few converts who are willing to tell their friends about your availability.

Do you have a magnet sign on your car? Having a number and area visible can hook those women who love MK but who's distributor went out of business, or who just moved to the area, or similar.

I don't know if the MK apparatus has that sort of thing available...they MUST...but if they don't, you can get pretty good quality signage from vistaprint.com.

I've used them for years and have had roughly 98% success with them.

Vistaprint ALWAYS has these free deals, too.

I got my first set of business cards from them (I have to re-do them, because I revamped the website URL but it's ok -- 500 were $13 with S&H.)

Bonny, you can look at your two darling clients as sunshine and shade! You've completely succeeded in turning around this woman's life, and she had utter trust in you -- she's just a little clueless about the whole "I R a PROFESSIONAL" thing.

I don't know if you've replied, but I would think something along the lines of "I'm so pleased that you contacted me; your trust in me really makes me feel even better about how far you've come and how well we work together. I would really like to help you through this life transition, and look forward to speaking with you. But as you know, coaching is my profession, and it's how I bring home the kibble! But I'd be happy to offer you a special rate for a meeting, since I very much want you continue on your positive path!"

Take $5 off.

Ball's in her court. If she doesn't respond to this, it'll be a valuable life lesson. People are so weird to me - this is like saying to someone, "OOh, I've bought a bunch of your paintings and I love them! I want more! Will you give me one free?"

It'd be different if you'd offered. But Mr. I'm Here Because I Was Dragged...well, not everyone's going to be convinced in the efficacy of therapy. But he WAS there, in your office, and I am positive that talking to you did indeed help him. You did your job, and if he can't see how useful therapy is not, maybe your interaction with him will change his mind. But maybe it won't. And that's ok! You cain't change people's minds all at once, and his opinion of your work doesn't, in any way, invalidate its usefulness.

"OOh, I've bought a bunch of your paintings and I love them! I want more! Will you give me one free?"

Thank you so much for getting this. That is EXACTLY what it feels like. And it happens way too often.

In re: Mr. Dragged. He wasn't though. I checked with him twice before the actual event and one before and after with his partner.

Part of what is so upsetting is that this fellow has infinite respect in another area of life...I officiated his wedding, for goodness sake!

But also, I have had it up to ^ with people saying stuff like "I don't believe in therapy" but then bending my ear for 20 minutes about all their problems and do I think they are crazy, etc.

I have had bad experiences with therapists. REALLY bad experiences, so I get a certain amount of caution...when addressing ANY profession. But, lordy. Unless you want to engage in a rational debate of philosophies, or whatever, don't talk to me if you don't like what I do.

It would be like me telling my plumber about how his industry shafts every single one of their customers and that is why I am not going to pay him for the hour of work he's just done.

Feh.

Also? Erin, you are a doll. I had not responded to the last email from the sunshine lady and I am going to clip your words almost in their entirety.

I really, truly appreciate your help.

That email is away and I feel significantly better.

Sigh.

Buffistas rawk.

WOOT! Glad I could help clear away a little stress.

bonny, I think a lot of profession get what you're getting -- people can be so clueless.

Lawyer jokes to the guy helping you get your license back, bitching about therapy not helping you, when you're sitting there getting help. TEACHING. (Ahem.) People scoff at lots of things they think they know everything about-- "I could TOTALLY do this; what a rip off!"

@@

But people like to grouse, and they can be pretty self-centered and clueless-- I don't have to tell you THAT!

Bitch, my darling. BITCH LIKE THE WIND. That's what this is for, right?

bonny, glad you have us to vent to.

Erin, I literally (yes rly) laughed out loud at the "Take $5 off" bit.

I talked to a friend last night who's starting up her own consulting business, and has been thinking about dabbling in some contracting. Which could mean some work for me. Anyway, lots of stuff y'all have said came up in the conversation. I may have to get really creative in finding income streams, at least for a while. Which is scary, but it feels good to have someone who's going through the same thing and who I can tag team with on opportunities and networking.

Erin, I literally (yes rly) laughed out loud at the "Take $5 off" bit.

I am usually nice! Except when I'm a heartless bitch. I like to think of myself as a combination of exquisite politeness and cold-hearted practicality!

I may be delusional.

smonster, ITA hear you with the alternate streams of income thing. It's completely likely that when M. goes back to PA in August, I will be needing to get some PT job until I can confidently bring in enough income for our budgetary needs.

I might be shilling makeup or coffee somewhere to bring home the electric bill for a while. I hope not. But it's very likely, and I'm ok with that.

I'll try to use it for writing fodder, and get some easy no-brainer that I leave behind.

I'm thinking of it as taking the business loop through town, instead of sticking to the highway. Either way, I'm still driving towards my goal, and I'll get there.

I just might be stuck behind a tractor for a while.

Erin and Bonny outline exactly why I am insisting on paying one of my best friends who is a realtor for running comps for me and coaching me about contracts. I do NOT want to take advantage of her kindness. Unfortunately her R.E. company doesn't allow any side stuff at all (my landlady and I are trying to leave out realtors) so I will be figuring out a non-cash way to thank her. But she will be!!

I'm currently working with a couple of really, really good friends. We set up an agreement in the beginning to make sure we had excellent boundaries.

I tried to refer them elsewhere but they a) can't afford it and b) insist that they don't trust anyone else.

3 months into it, I've held up my end, they have not. Next week will be 'the talk.'

In this particular case, I'm not upset at all. We'll work it out, but a written agreement is sure nice to have in a case like this.

There are SO many non-cash-money ways to make a fair trade. I've done this with 5 people before...only 2 of which were friends...and it has worked out well each time.

When I get bent out of shape, like I was earlier today, I need to remember that.