Unrelatedly (because everything is unrelated), why did I not know Christina Aguilera had a song about cunnilingus?

Of course she does.

I did not know that about Xtina. But there are a few songs about that...I'm a fan of the Lil' Kim one. :)

I think it would be hard to define your criteria. I mean, you'd have to first decide which rapes you were going to filter out, and then some sort of sexiness scale (like, is it how much skin? Is a skirt sexier than shorts? What if they're shorter than the skirt? Do heels make it sexier? What about wedges? Jewelry?) And then like...is it different than how that person dresses normally? Different than the other people around? I mean, are you comparing "of the 10 people in the vicinity, she got raped because she was dressed sexier than 7 of them" or like "This person always wears a burka, whereas the raped person always wears stilettos and a miniskirt"?

My gut instinct is that in violent rapes that happen away from the home (as opposed to date rapes happening in familiar settings), victims are going to be chosen on criteria of how vulnerable they are and how far away help is likely to be rather than how attractive the rapist finds them.

ita, google found me

A Federal Commission on Crime of Violence Study found that only 4.4% of all reported rapes involved provocative behavior on the part of the victim. In murder cases 22% involved such behavior (as simple as a glance).

- Most convicted rapists do not remember what their victims were wearing.

from [link]

Thanks, -t. I couldn't work out what to google. That's very interesting.

People who do studies like that define "provocative behaviour" and its ilk all the time. It's their job.

chosen on criteria of how vulnerable they are and how far away help is likely to be rather than how attractive the rapist finds them

And rape is a crime of violence, not sex. I thought no matter what *triggers* a rapist, it's about power and aggression.

in violent rapes that happen away from the home (as opposed to date rapes happening in familiar settings), victims are going to be chosen on criteria of how vulnerable they are and how far away help is likely to be rather than how attractive the rapist finds them.

I'd say vulnerability plays a role in rapes that happen in the home, too. When your rapist has a key to your home (for example, when he's your husband or other family member), that makes you pretty vulnerable.

Rape is an act of violence, where sex is used as a tool of intimidation and fear, not the other way around, where desire COMPELS someone to rape another person, based upon their overwhelming sexiness/sluttliness/whathaveyou. If you're talking stranger rape, that's why women, men, and children are systematically raped as a war tactic. That's why 13-year-old girls in South Africa are "correctively raped" to cure their lesbianism. To allow the argument to be framed in terms of sexiness is to begin it in the wrong place already. You're already on the wrong turf.

If a person feels entitled to sex with someone against another person's will, they are going to look for a whole host of excuses to blame the other person, but the notion that (men) can't control their urges around (women) who are dressed a certain way is complete and utter bullshit.

I'd say vulnerability plays a role in rapes that happen in the home, too. When your rapist has a key to your home (for example, when he's your husband or other family member), that makes you pretty vulnerable.

Definitely. Familiarity and access play a big role.

I don't think I have a hope in hell of changing this guy's mind, but the link -t provided had some interesting links, and he's got nothing but the hot air out of his ass. At worst, it's a public shaming.

And, his attitude is "I'm trying to HELP women!" Thanks, dude. With friends like you...

Oh yeah, we're just craving THAT kind of help. Thanks, dude.