One day, a priest and a nun were chatting. The nun said, "Father, do you think that the Church will ever allow the clergy to marry?" The priest answered, "Maybe not in our time, or even our children's time, but maybe in our children's children's..."
Mal: Gotta say, doctor, your talent for alienatin' folk is near miraculous. Simon: Yes, I'm very proud.
'Safe'
Natter 68: Bork Bork Bork
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Kathy A - Mar 28, 2011 12:14:21 pm PDT #688 of 30001
We're very stretchy. - Connie Neil
Strix - Mar 28, 2011 12:18:02 pm PDT #689 of 30001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger
Man: Use horticulture in a sentence.
Dorothy Parker: You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
Amy - Mar 28, 2011 12:19:48 pm PDT #690 of 30001
Because books.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9.
Aw, the favorite of elementary school kids everywhere! Sara CRACKS up at that joke.
The other one I can think of is a knock-knock.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana. Knock knock.
"Who's there!"
"Banana. Knock knock.
"Who's there?!"
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"
Ginger - Mar 28, 2011 12:27:52 pm PDT #691 of 30001
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda
More Dorothy Parker, or at least attributed to her:
Clair Boothe Luce and Dorothy Parker arrive at a door at the same time. Luce gestures for Parker to enter first, saying, "Age before beauty." Parker demurs, replying, "Pearls before swine."
You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
A girl's best friend is her mutter.
It serves me right for keeping all my eggs in one bastard.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
Vortex - Mar 28, 2011 12:46:10 pm PDT #692 of 30001
"Cry havoc and let slip the boobs of war!" -- Miracleman
Oh, Steph, did you see that the guy who gay-bashed my friend in Covington got convicted last week?
hopefully with a hate crime escalation.
DavidS - Mar 28, 2011 12:49:37 pm PDT #693 of 30001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
That's not Dorothy's. That's by a guy who wrote the song while he was doing his medical residency who's still working in Georgia.
Consuela - Mar 28, 2011 12:54:55 pm PDT #694 of 30001
We are Buffistas. This isn't our first apocalypse. -- Pix
So I am told that the organization is finally getting its shit together, and my permanent position will be announced for open competition within, erm. Unclear, actually. But it's been approved to be posted!
I am not home free, but I might possibly see the finish line from here.
And I have a box of Thin Mints.
Dana - Mar 28, 2011 1:00:52 pm PDT #695 of 30001
"I'm useless alone." // "We're all useless alone. It's a good thing you're not alone."
God, Suela, I thought that part was actually done. How much longer do you have to put up with this shit?
Consuela - Mar 28, 2011 1:04:29 pm PDT #696 of 30001
We are Buffistas. This isn't our first apocalypse. -- Pix
Right now I'm a contractor hired through an Indian tribe. That was the short-term fix they came up with, but it took them a month to put it together, which is why I was out of work for the month of February (and not in the fun travel-to-hot-places way).
I'm hoping it'll be posted within a month, but he didn't actually say, and I forgot to ask. Still not psyched about where in the organization they're planning to put me, though. It's not a good fit for the program I run, but the manager I have been talking with claims that we don't have any say, all these decisions are being made far up the chain of command.
§ ita § - Mar 28, 2011 1:12:42 pm PDT #697 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
OMG, radiation hysteria talk by my desk.
"You know the half life of radioactive materials is *forever*, right? We're screwed."