Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.

Aw, the favorite of elementary school kids everywhere! Sara CRACKS up at that joke.

The other one I can think of is a knock-knock.

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana. Knock knock.
"Who's there!"
"Banana. Knock knock.
"Who's there?!"
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

More Dorothy Parker, or at least attributed to her:

Clair Boothe Luce and Dorothy Parker arrive at a door at the same time. Luce gestures for Parker to enter first, saying, "Age before beauty." Parker demurs, replying, "Pearls before swine."

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

A girl's best friend is her mutter.

It serves me right for keeping all my eggs in one bastard.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.

Oh, Steph, did you see that the guy who gay-bashed my friend in Covington got convicted last week?

hopefully with a hate crime escalation.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

That's not Dorothy's. That's by a guy who wrote the song while he was doing his medical residency who's still working in Georgia.

So I am told that the organization is finally getting its shit together, and my permanent position will be announced for open competition within, erm. Unclear, actually. But it's been approved to be posted!

I am not home free, but I might possibly see the finish line from here.

And I have a box of Thin Mints.

God, Suela, I thought that part was actually done. How much longer do you have to put up with this shit?

Right now I'm a contractor hired through an Indian tribe. That was the short-term fix they came up with, but it took them a month to put it together, which is why I was out of work for the month of February (and not in the fun travel-to-hot-places way).

I'm hoping it'll be posted within a month, but he didn't actually say, and I forgot to ask. Still not psyched about where in the organization they're planning to put me, though. It's not a good fit for the program I run, but the manager I have been talking with claims that we don't have any say, all these decisions are being made far up the chain of command.

OMG, radiation hysteria talk by my desk.

"You know the half life of radioactive materials is *forever*, right? We're screwed."

Timelies all!

Turns out, practicing guitar when you haven't played in close to a year will result in blisters. How about that.

That's why I said attributed, David. It's difficult to tell where Dorothy Parker ends and the legend begins.