Timelies!!

I'm in Seattle and supposed to be meeting meara today! Which will be lovely except my phone has chosen right now to break, so that's inconvenient. It's driving me absolutely insane - it was fine! And all of a sudden it has no service and no amount of resetting will fix it.

NILLY!!!

Happy Birthday, Perkins!

Congratulations on getting through testing, Suzi. Hydrate and rest. You've earned the rest.

Fingers are crossed for Sparky and family. I hope Sassafrass finds her way home very soon.

There are good days and bad days.

I hope that the good outweigh the bad.

This is just hitting all of my vulnerable spots, both in me and with my relationship. I've been very vocal about how close DH and I came to splitting up on a number of occasions. We've had a rocky road, and his parents have been witness to that.

While this is true, you DIDN'T split up and you're there now. Frankly, that outweighs. You are there.

but now for the repairs process, I have loads of questions and don't really know what to expect.

It was for an auto accident with medical, but my agent was amazing. And then the actual claims person for my specific case. Seriously, she told me about so many benefits that I was eligible for if I needed them. I took advantage of very few of them, but I knew about them and how to get them. All agents are different, clearly, but I'd talk to your agent. Let them know that you want to go about this the right way and the easiest way for everyone.

Jesse, I hadn't remembered about your father's diagnosis, and now I feel like a bad Buffista!

Oh jeez, not to worry! I don't talk about it much on here. There was a nice article about him and etc. in the Journal a couple of years ago, if you google him (first name Ralph, same last name as me).

Oh, but speaking of Alzheimer's and marriage, apparently Jerry Fallwell told someone recently to divorce his wife with Alzheimer's, so he could date?!?!?!? Dude. I don't even necessarily think that's the worst idea, depending on all the factors, but from Fallwell????

Oh, but speaking of Alzheimer's and marriage, apparently Jerry Fallwell told someone recently to divorce his wife with Alzheimer's, so he could date?!?!?!? Dude. I don't even necessarily think that's the worst idea, depending on all the factors, but from Fallwell????

Well, see, because abandoning your spouse in need is better than adultery. Which the guy was committing by dating women while his wife was zonked.

Lisa, if you pop on the board at some point, how did you do it?

I just sat here and talked through that time last year with Bob trying to think if we had any useful advice for you guys. I feel like I fell apart a lot. He says he doesn't think I did but that I just broke down a few times. I don't know. I know there were times when I felt useless and powerless to help him. And a lot of times where I would fall apart and then feel like I was making it worse for him. It was so hard not be able to fix everything and so hard to not know what was going to happen.

I remember one time I came home while he was in the hospital after his first surgery and the dog had had an accident and I completely lost it. I just collapsed in a sobbing heap on the floor. I called a friend and tried to tell her through sobs how I couldn't even clean the kitchen floor, like that was the main problem. Anyway, she came over and helped me clean and helped me pull it together again so I could keep going.

That's all you can do, really, is keep going through this. We focused on Next Steps and tried not to dwell on what we didn't know at the moment. That was really hard. I tend to play Worst Case Scenario and that was so emotionally draining in that situation, it was horrible and didn't serve any good purpose. So, instead, we'd write up lists of questions to ask the doctors at the next appointment.

Bob says that blogging about the experience while it was happening was very helpful for him. I talked to a few friends a lot but I never really vocalized what my worst fears were to anyone except Bob. I'm not sure if that was good or bad.

I don't know if this is at all helpful. I'll send you my number if you ever want to talk and, please, let me know if you need any help navigating Hopkins or if we can help in any way by just being nearby.

apparently Jerry Fallwell told someone recently to divorce his wife with Alzheimer's, so he could date?!?!?!? Dude. I don't even necessarily think that's the worst idea, depending on all the factors, but from Fallwell????

Pat Robertson, but still.

Oh and w/r/t your father-in-law's offer to help, he is probably feeling scared and useless in the face of this too and wants to do something concrete. Bob's mom and sister offered to come out when he had his first surgery and Bob was pretty hesitant at first (not wanting having them here to be a burden on me and knowing there was not much they could actually do to help). I didn't mind them coming and knew it would probably be a huge thing for them to just be able to see him so I encouraged him to tell them to come.

It was Pat Robertson, Jesse. Falwell's dead.