You are an excellent wife, and doing what you can. It would not actually be better if you were unemployed and had all the free time in the world, right? Eh. You work with what you've got.

In more amusing news, I'm watching a woman on House Crashers who seems like someone we would know. She has a shitload of books, isn't that psyched about the whole project and definitely can't be tv-excited enough for them, and is adorable.

Continue love and ~ma, Maria.

Happy birthday, Perkins!!

I've always wondered if dudes have actually longer lashes in general or if they don't end up breaking off or falling out a little early from mucking about with curling and mascara and makeup removal. I mean, I haven't wondered enough to even heavily Google it, but I've mildly pondered.

I almost never wear mascara (like, a few times a year), and I have short, stubby, straight, sparse lashes. For a sample of one.

I kind of feel like making homemade Fig Newtons with fresh figs is a waste of figs. Goat cheese + squished out fig + baguette = heaven.

Roller derby is the awesomest therapy in the world. I can seriously forget my troubles on the track, work out my frustrations and then have a beer afterward. Stuff just doesn't seem all that bad.

Oh, yes. I miss rugby. Best stress relief in the world, knocking people down and then having a drink. Stoopid flexy joints.

I've heard good things about coconut oil as a makeup remover. I like the Neutrogena stuff in the purple bottle. I discovered it when I was bellydancing; it takes off long-lasting lipstick in one swipe, so I was sold.

Congrats, Suzi! I've been thinking about starting back up with karate. I did it for a couple of years, but never got a belt.

They found a plane for us, and it looks like we'll be leaving in another hour or so. Yay.

Maria, you're doing what you can, and that's all you need to do.

Thanks, everyone. Rationally, I know I'm doing everything I can, but emotionally, it's a whole other ball of wax. The first 30-45 days of INF treatment are horrible. He's in for 5-day a week IV infusions that last 20-30 minutes, and he won't be able to drive. I won't be able to take him, and then there's the whole feeling like you're going to die part of the treatment. I don't want him to be alone. His father said he'd move in with us for the first month and shuttle him back and forth to treatment, but I don't know. It's not like he's getting any younger, and this will be rough on him too. Taking care of my husband is supposed to be MY job. I just don't want anyone to think I'm trying to avoid the hard stuff.

Lisa, if you pop on the board at some point, how did you do it?

Maria, taking care of your husband is everyone's job, honey. Please do not think marriage means it's all on you. Marriage is an enhancement for caring. It's not the only caring. You're being your wonderful self and Rob is going to need a lot of wonderful selves!

Speaking only for my own parents, they still like to take care of me, and I'm pretty sure that wouldn't change if I were married.

I know. My parents do too. This is just hitting all of my vulnerable spots, both in me and with my relationship. I've been very vocal about how close DH and I came to splitting up on a number of occasions. We've had a rocky road, and his parents have been witness to that.

Everything's going to feel raw and emotional right now, Maria. Right now you just have to focus on doing what you can do, like Tom said. You can work, and keep you guys fed and housed, and you can give him all the emotional support you can in whatever way you can. The families can help with some of the daily stuff.

It's good to talk about it, though. That's what we're here for.

Well, that makes sense. And illness isn't going to magically make everything okay, obviously. But you've never, ever been one to back down from someone in need, husband or not. But even if you two had a perfect relationship (which I don't think exists anyway), this would be a LOT. You're going to need to give yourself permission to let others help any way they can, because you'll need it. And it's good for others to help - for them too. It's not just Rob who needs help and love, it's you.

Pointing and nodding at Java's post.