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Wesley: We were fighting on opposite sides, but it was the same war. Fred: but you hated her…didn't you? Wesley: It's not always about holding hands.

'Shells'

Natter 68: Bork Bork Bork

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Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.

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Amy - Apr 09, 2011 9:07:18 am PDT #2501 of 30001

Because books.

In my head, vanilla means "plain old regular sex," but what that means for me and what it means to anyone else could be completely different things.

I'm not really willing to define "vanilla" as "common."

Also this. Especially since human beings are involved. Very individual human beings, in all sorts of pairs and groups.

aurelia - Apr 09, 2011 9:08:03 am PDT #2502 of 30001

All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story. Tell me a story.

This is very cool. [link] Lots of sound.

§ ita § - Apr 09, 2011 9:15:44 am PDT #2503 of 30001

Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

I think I'd categorise vanilla as vagina in penis sex (yup, straight only) with no role-playing or fetish-exercising of any sort. At least that's what I was thinking of as I read that piece. Oh, and no toys. Oral is foreplay, never the main event.

I don't really think most people have (only) vanilla sex.

As long as self-congratulatory pieces are being written in Jezebel about it, I don't think pegging is vanilla.

Amy - Apr 09, 2011 9:18:30 am PDT #2504 of 30001

Because books.

vagina in penis sex

Now that I'd like to see.

§ ita § - Apr 09, 2011 9:22:18 am PDT #2505 of 30001

Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

OMG, hello brain.

PIV.

Calli - Apr 09, 2011 9:22:31 am PDT #2506 of 30001

I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs

vagina in penis sex

For some reason this makes me think of Klein bottles.

Jesse - Apr 09, 2011 9:33:07 am PDT #2507 of 30001

Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

I totally agree with the rest of the discussion above, but:

I mean, why can you assume your sexual partner is vanilla?

I'm guessing it's the same way I can assume a guy I'm attracted to is straight? Like, I'll be wrong some of the time but not most of it.

Typo Boy - Apr 09, 2011 9:33:29 am PDT #2508 of 30001

Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.

I was lucky enough to see Alice Walker speak last night. Her comment, peripherally relevant to this conversation (quoted from memory):

"When I have sex with lesbians, hey want me to self-define as a lesbian. When I have sex with bisexuals they want me to self-define as bisexual. When I have sex with straight men they want me to self-define as straight. I don't like boxes. I define my sexuality as 'curious'."

§ ita § - Apr 09, 2011 9:44:42 am PDT #2509 of 30001

Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

I'm guessing it's the same way I can assume a guy I'm attracted to is straight?

I think it's fair to assume most people will have vanilla sex and probably enjoy it, but how do you define vanilla, and do you really think it's reasonable to assume most people are into "just" that?

Then again, I don't assume the men I'm attracted to as straight, although I understand it's the probability.

Jesse - Apr 09, 2011 9:47:08 am PDT #2510 of 30001

Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

I think it's fair to assume most people will have vanilla sex and probably enjoy it, but how do you define vanilla, and do you really think it's reasonable to assume most people are into "just" that?

Oh, sure.

I'm still on the question of whether not-vanilla means kinky or just out of the ordinary. Like, I guess pegging is not vanilla?

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