I don't think of anything anal being particularly "vanilla".

I think "vanilla" is increasingly hard to define. Because I was assuming she meant "vanilla" as "not incorporating one of the components of BDSM," where "BDSM" = (1) bondage/discipline; (2) dominance/submission; (3) sadism/masochism; and (4) fetishy stuff that doesn't quite fall under any of those umbrellas, like dudes into feet, or human ponies, etc.

Since I was reading "vanilla" in that light, I think it's entirely possible for a man to take it up the Khyber Pass without it ever falling under any of those categories.

I understand that a man receiving anal sex isn't *common* (AFAIK), but I'm not really willing to define "vanilla" as "common."

In my head, vanilla means "plain old regular sex," but what that means for me and what it means to anyone else could be completely different things.

I'm not really willing to define "vanilla" as "common."

Also this. Especially since human beings are involved. Very individual human beings, in all sorts of pairs and groups.

This is very cool. [link] Lots of sound.

I think I'd categorise vanilla as vagina in penis sex (yup, straight only) with no role-playing or fetish-exercising of any sort. At least that's what I was thinking of as I read that piece. Oh, and no toys. Oral is foreplay, never the main event.

I don't really think most people have (only) vanilla sex.

As long as self-congratulatory pieces are being written in Jezebel about it, I don't think pegging is vanilla.

vagina in penis sex

Now that I'd like to see.

OMG, hello brain.

PIV.

vagina in penis sex

For some reason this makes me think of Klein bottles.

I totally agree with the rest of the discussion above, but:

I mean, why can you assume your sexual partner is vanilla?

I'm guessing it's the same way I can assume a guy I'm attracted to is straight? Like, I'll be wrong some of the time but not most of it.

I was lucky enough to see Alice Walker speak last night. Her comment, peripherally relevant to this conversation (quoted from memory):

"When I have sex with lesbians, hey want me to self-define as a lesbian. When I have sex with bisexuals they want me to self-define as bisexual. When I have sex with straight men they want me to self-define as straight. I don't like boxes. I define my sexuality as 'curious'."

I'm guessing it's the same way I can assume a guy I'm attracted to is straight?

I think it's fair to assume most people will have vanilla sex and probably enjoy it, but how do you define vanilla, and do you really think it's reasonable to assume most people are into "just" that?

Then again, I don't assume the men I'm attracted to as straight, although I understand it's the probability.