Montreal is an island. It can do large bodies of water.

I can't work out what to have for lunch.

Montreal is an island. It can do large bodies of water.

It's an island in a river. My standards for large bodies of water were set by Lake Huron.

I think so. My POV is more demisexual -- I have The Sex with Tim, and actually *want* to. I have a hard time calling it "sexual attraction," though, because it's more that I want to have sex with him because he's *him,* not because of...whatever it is that happens when people are sexually attracted to each other.

That makes more sense to me than almost anything else I've ever heard. I don't really get things like affairs, because for me that would mean my whole relationship with Matt had changed.

and now my brain is all twisted around how to express this

huh

Remind me not to get into debates on Twitter. Because trying to explain to people that having a Plan B in case you aren't able to support yourself as an ARTEEST following your bliss is NOT setting yourself up to fail will lead to me losing my temper.

Personally, I'd rather not have to have a dayjob. But I like being able to pay bills and have health insurance, and not having those things makes me worry so much that I can't concentrate on my creative projects.

My POV is more demisexual -- I have The Sex with Tim, and actually *want* to. I have a hard time calling it "sexual attraction," though, because it's more that I want to have sex with him because he's *him,*

I find this a really fascinating discussion. As this is a fairly new topic to me, I'm trying to understand and ask this in all sincerity, no snarkiness implied whatsoever. How is this different from sexual attraction? I understand the personality is the source of your desire for Tim, but, if I'm reading this correctly, you *have* a sexual attraction to Tim.

And, doesn't personality affect sexual attraction for most people? I can find a guy sexually attractive, get to know him, and get turned right off because his personality is repellant. Or vice versa.

Personally, I'd rather not have to have a dayjob. But I like being able to pay bills and have health insurance, and not having those things makes me worry so much that I can't concentrate on my creative projects.

Because you're a grown-up.

I can find a guy sexually attractive, get to know him, and get turned right off because his personality is repellant. Or vice versa.

But I can find a guy sexually attractive without knowing anything about his personality at all, and I'll bet Steph can't.

It's an island in a river

It's a really big river? With whales?

I have some questions too, but kind of feel like I would be asking for explanations for really elementary stuff. This is the kind of thing I don't like to use google for because I don't know enough about the subject to recognize authoritative bullshit. Anyone care to link me to some trustworthy sources about asexuality and demisexuality? Plus maybe something that deals with common misconceptions, cause I suspect I may have negative knowledge ("knowing things that are not so") in this area.

But I can find a guy sexually attractive without knowing anything about his personality at all, and I'll bet Steph can't.

I totally get that. Where I'm getting hung up is the lack of sexual attraction even after getting to know the person. It seems like there is an attraction to Tim that is rooted in his personality.

Because you're a grown-up.

There are people I know who would laugh at that label being applied to me. But I am a damn grown-up, and the whole notion of privileged hipsters telling people that being responsible means you aren't giving your all to your ART makes me want to take a mallet to them.