I received a Fed Ex package... And in it was a lovely necklace with a hand enameled flower blossom, made by an artisan in... wait for it... Thailand! I think I have my first clue. The necklace is lovely, and I have an actual picture of it, but on my home computer.

Thank you Secret Santa!,

My 2010 has been good for the most part. Interesting at the very least.

I started the year trying to accept my daughter's engagement, though there were things about her fiance that bugged. I tried to operate under the "if she is happy, I'm happy" and "I only see bits of their relationship". Then during her spring break we ended up buying a wedding dress and I had finally made my way to accepting the situation. Finally summer came and she discovered that he was a lying, cheating, douche bag. She handled the end of the relationship much better than expected and I think she is a much stronger person now having gone through all that. For my part it was very hard to let go of the desire for vengeance.

I spent a good part of the year working to find a good balance of thyroid meds and getting health stuff under control. The last few months saw me feeling much better, now I just need to regain some cardio fitness. Karate has plugged along. I didn't make great progress, but I didn't quit either.

Through all this, CJ has turned into a true teenager. Monosyllabic speech and all - though I call him on it all the time. He has also matured and enjoyed the challenges from school. While the whole pencil stabbing was an unfortunate incident, he has grown from the experience.

My job has been a steady constant. I receive a promotion and nice raise which helped validate my move to this position. I have expanded my skills, working with more schedules. I have also worked from home a lot without any static from the office.

Only real downsides have been the non-expansion of my circle of meat-space friends and the lack of male company. Hopefully that will take a turn in 2011.

When I was a teenager, I had this idea of how my life should turn out. Just the essentials – my family life, my work life, my home life, all that kind of thing. 2010 is the year that the final details fell into place. I can honestly say that my life is now what I've always wanted it to be. So, you know how sometimes you spend so long wishing for something, and it finally arrives, and you find it's not what you'd thought it would be after all? Then again, sometimes you find it's exactly how you thought it would be and it's just wonderful.

The last piece I'd been missing was a job, specifically a job I enjoyed where I felt respected and valued. I started that in April, having been recommended by one of my lecturers, almost exactly a year after being laid off from my previous job. It meant a pretty significant pay cut – 20% on a full-time basis, and I'm only working four days a week, so 35% overall. But they're flexible with my study, I can work from home fairly often, and most days I'm home in time to put Ryan to bed. Really, just to be doing work I enjoy makes it worthwhile. (Fortunately, when we bought our house, we left a large margin against the limit the bank was offering, just in case our circumstances changed.)

We moved into our own house in 2009. It still doesn't have much of a garden, but we're nicely settled here. It's a good location, close to the train, shops and Ryan's childcare. We have good neighbours as well. All up, we've settled in well.

I'm still studying too. Just one subject a semester now. I'm enjoying the pace, and even made a couple of friends, two Chinese students (well, part friendship, part mentor relationship). After feeling that I'd been stagnating in my last job, the degree has helped a great deal to refresh my skills.

Now, on to the important matters. Wallybee is still quite wonderful. Raising Ryan together has only brought us closer. Her current job may not survive 2011 (it's reliant on govt funding, which expires this year and may not be renewed), and she's thinking of moving into primary school teaching. Her parents (who were such a help with Ryan for his first year) were supposed to be back by now, but her mother had a bad fall and broke her wrist. They're now thinking March.

Ryan goes from strength to strength, so much more engaged with his environment, always trying to puzzle out how things work. Childcare tells us that he lives up to his name with the other kids (in Chinese it means 'kindness'. He's walking confidently, and has a vocabulary of two words – 'shoe' (perhaps not coincidentally, it sounds quite similar in Chinese), for both shoes and socks, and 'nana' for bananas (his favourite food). He does also say 'mama' and 'daddy' – just not specifically to Mummy and/or Daddy. Or necessarily to other bipeds. He understands many more words, like nose, ear, nappy and penguin. You know, the essentials.

It’s been a good year. Fingers crossed that 2011 lives up to it.

Belated 2010 summary:

In 2010 I made a concerted effort to go out and do things. I went to concerts and parties and fairs and lectures and book readings. And yet still I end up with the same frustrating result: At the end of the day,I am still achingly alone.

The fat of the matter is that no matter is that no matter how much it seems that I'm trying to engage, I'm actually still avoiding; avoiding engaging anyone else on an emotional level, avoiding my own feelings, and avoiding a whole bunch of painful memories. And until I stop avoiding, there will never be any real change for me.

So, anyway, more therapy for me in 2011. Hopefully, I'll be ready to take advantage of it, and open up about stuff.

Bravest man I know.

Absolutely. Tom, you're a wonderful person, and someone I feel lucky to know. I hope your hard work brings you some better things in 2011 and beyond.

What Kate said. Plus you have an awesome smile.

I actually mailed my slacker present today! That will make it less than a month late!

I bought the first part of my slacker present yesterday.

Is it slacks?

Heh heh. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.