Timelies, Bitches!

I am back after a month in the dark. I now have a lot of catching up to do.

This is the primary argument for doing what is right for you, rather than trying to meet the demands of others.

THIS.

My culture isn't your culture, my family isn't your family. What I can say is that I spent my life trying to please my parents as much as it was possible for me to do. And it made me pretty unhappy and DIDN'T make them happy. It was never enough for them. From what I've seen in my life and the lives of some of my siblings, the ones that are happier are the ones that cut off from my parents and did what they felt was right for them. And my parents didn't cut them off for that. In fact, my parents seem to respect them more.

And, if you believe we only get one shot at life, what Amy said is dead on.

I have so many regrets in life and practically none of them have to do with not having done what my parents wanted me to do. They have to do with repressing my talents and desires because they didn't meet with the approval of my parents. I'll never get those years back.

Hi, quester!

P-C, I have my own feelings about how you should be handling all this, but you don't need my feelings.

But I will say I haven't heard you say more than " yes, I'd like a girlfriend" While you might get lucky, the odds of finding a wife when the whole idea makes you crazy -- are slim. and not fair to you . Go to the Indian events, but go to your cons and work things and other friend things. Meet lots of friends, date a little -- until the idea of a wife is your idea. which might happen after you meet her.

Kermit waves to Spidra!

But wait, let me ask a question of the hive. Has anyone ever done everything 'right' in the eyes of a parent, lover, etc. and then enjoyed endless peace in the family?

Of course, not. Because if you don't enforce that boundary of separation from parent to child then they will treat you even more like a child.

P-C this is the most important thing ever to them, until you concede to their wishes and then the most important thing will when and how you have children and where you rear them and what school they go to. And so on.

P-C this is the most important thing ever to them, until you concede to their wishes and then the most important thing will when and how you have children and where you rear them and what school they go to. And so on.

IJS.

It also sounds like they are training you and your brother and sister to be "disappointments" to them, so that they will always have something to criticize you guys for and keep you dependent...but they are carefully keeping you just on this side of the disownage line.

You can't make them happy. They don't want you to.

You can't make them happy. They don't want you to.

Again, with the killer wisdom.

And I wish I'd had Buffistas to speak sooth like this to me 30 years ago...