mini-rant: 2nd day this week a full pot of my coffee was tossed down the drain. Apparently my father's been doing it because it's "in the way". The machine was moved by my visiting brother and that somehow put it on my father's radar. Now moving it back where it was isn't good enough. He's decided that if I leave a pot of coffee on the coffeemaker, it's fair game for tossing. It has nothing to do with logic. He literally said "'Cause it's my house." Which means, I guess that I'll either (a) not be having coffee (b) run up a bill going out for coffee or (c) take my coffee machine up to my room and make it up there, hoping no one objects to me having an appliance in my room. He suggested putting it in a thermos but it's a lot harder for me to clean a thermos than to clean a coffee pot. The funny thing is that he leaves his shit EVERYWHERE and drives my mom crazy. Yet suddenly he's a neat freak if it comes to an appliance on the counter?

ION, I'm getting closer to getting this bonus EP done. I'm not totally satisfied with it but I've run out of time to tinker and still have any kind of holiday promotion.

Good lord, Spidra. That's justifiable homicide, right there. Only a fool gets between a woman and her caffeine.

I'm a little less depressed. No thanks to all'a y'all, not tapdancing or nothin'. But I took a nap, and now Serenity is on.

I'm thinking I'll turn it off, though, before Book... you know. 'Cause that part's depressing.

Spidra cannot believe the continuing story of what they are putting you through.

I'm glad you're feeling a little better, Zen.

Luckily, I'm not addicted to caffeine. But I don't have a big monthly income so tossing $8 of coffee down the drain means more to me than it does to him. It also pisses me off that it was my visiting brother (Golden Boy) moving the pot (and using my coffee beans) that brought this on. He doesn't get yelled at, I do.

I asked my mom if Dad was in a mood. She said not especially. I said, "Well, that seemed to come out of left field so I was wondering if something has put him in a mood." She said one of my other brothers had had a fit during T-day because a suit he'd left here to be picked up by Golden Boy had had its pants go missing and she thought he must be transferring some of that anger on to me. Lucky me.

I'm definitely wishing I had not moved here as it's almost sure to make the relationship with my parents worse than it is and it is also kicking the shit outta my self-esteem. I'm not sure how I would have made things work up there. Perhaps if I'd known exactly how bad this would be, I could have at least looked at Section 8 a year ago and maybe have applied before the waiting list closed.

On days like this it's not hard to be sure that I should get out of here. But on days that are more tranquil, I begin to fool myself that maybe things could be different. Which is pretty much what I've done my whole life, I guess. Despite knowing that I have to get out of here and knowing how hard that will be if I don't find a way to make a living despite the disablity, I'm still scared about going back to VO without taking a lot of refresher classes and having a mentor. So I keep putting that off although I really shouldn't.

One of the potentially good things about my current situation is that if I try to build a clientele and work freelance, I might make enough $ to throw me off SSDI. If I were living by myself, I'd be on the street. But if I am living here, I think they wouldn't throw me in the street if I could no longer pay rent regularly due to being thrown of SSDI before I had worked VO into a steady sufficient stream of income yet. Or maybe I'm dreaming.

Spidra, that is both ridiculous and awful. I'm so sorry you have to deal with things like that.

Fuck! We just got home from our lovely weekend only to find a window on our side door has been broken. I called my landlord to see if he knew about it, which he didn't. Gee, I wonder why my neighbors wouldn't call about it? t sarcasm, the tag that just won't close

Ooh, I hate neighbors like that. All the annoyance and none of the good points. I hope it's just the window, sj.

I'm sorry, I should have said, it is just the window. It doesn't look like anyone was in here or stole anything. It's the outside door and nothing seems to be tampered with on the door that leads to my actual apartment. However, my neighbors have already given me every reason to hate them, so I can just add this to the list.

Spidra, I'm sorry you're stuck in such a bad situation. I hope you can find a way to get un-stuck soon.

sj, bad neighbors suck. May you have better neighbors soon.

Well, it IS his house. Wanting to have things his way is not personal against you, really, it's just him wanting things his way in his house, the way we all do. Sounds like he's way crankier about it than I would be, but I understand the impulse. Even though it's a family house, you are a guest there.

My mom puts butter on everything and NEVER puts in in the fridge, so there's always a melty, crumb-bedecked butter dish on the counter. She has a small kitchen, so it takes up half the counter space. I used to put it in the fridge whenever I stayed there, as I couldn't take it. She finally said that she likes butter soft and she's done this way all her life and I was not to touch it. When I make something for myself, I have to work around the yucky thing. But, it's her house. When she visits me, the butter goes in the fridge.

I hope you can get work soon which allows you to have your own place and then when he comes over, you can tell him in no uncertain terms to stay the hell away from your coffeepot!