Ooh, I hate neighbors like that. All the annoyance and none of the good points. I hope it's just the window, sj.

I'm sorry, I should have said, it is just the window. It doesn't look like anyone was in here or stole anything. It's the outside door and nothing seems to be tampered with on the door that leads to my actual apartment. However, my neighbors have already given me every reason to hate them, so I can just add this to the list.

Spidra, I'm sorry you're stuck in such a bad situation. I hope you can find a way to get un-stuck soon.

sj, bad neighbors suck. May you have better neighbors soon.

Well, it IS his house. Wanting to have things his way is not personal against you, really, it's just him wanting things his way in his house, the way we all do. Sounds like he's way crankier about it than I would be, but I understand the impulse. Even though it's a family house, you are a guest there.

My mom puts butter on everything and NEVER puts in in the fridge, so there's always a melty, crumb-bedecked butter dish on the counter. She has a small kitchen, so it takes up half the counter space. I used to put it in the fridge whenever I stayed there, as I couldn't take it. She finally said that she likes butter soft and she's done this way all her life and I was not to touch it. When I make something for myself, I have to work around the yucky thing. But, it's her house. When she visits me, the butter goes in the fridge.

I hope you can get work soon which allows you to have your own place and then when he comes over, you can tell him in no uncertain terms to stay the hell away from your coffeepot!

Scrappy, I agree it's his house. However, when he was visiting my house he didn't listen to me about how I preferred things. So, for instance, he would leave the toilet seat up. And he would go to the bathroom leaving the door open.

He also didn't speak to me respectfully about it, he yelled at me.

Oh, he's got severe Cranky Old Man Syndrome for sure, but I guess I am saying that if you feel like more of a guest there, then it won't feel personal and hurt you, since the same rules don't apply as would to your own place. And what is WITH the older guys leaving the bathroom door open? MY F-i-L does that and I don't get it. His wife, daughters and sons all complain about it, and he doesn't care, since he has the same Cranky Old Man Syndrome.

This is not mere Cranky Old Man Syndrome. My father is a domineering bullying man. I was emotionally abused throughout my childhood and that was far worse than any physical batting around I endured. People who have worked under him lived in fear of his yelling, his belittling, his sarcasm, his condescension. He is unpredictable in his anger and that unpredictability created some coping behaviors in me that have not served me well in my life and that I'm trying hard to overcome.

I don't want to get into a nitty gritty explanation of things. All I can say is that this isn't me being stubborn about some rule I knowingly broke or running around here feeling entitled. It's living in a way where you never know what thing you do will set off a concentrated burst of anger, belittling and yelling. And getting yelled at by him is not experienced by me as an isolated event with only the power of that event. I almost can't go through it without having flashbacks.

(((Spidra))) I wish there was away you could get out of there.

{{{spidra}}} I fear having nothing to offer but ~ma that a perfect housing solution miraculously appears allowing you to get out from under your parent's thumb. The situation just sounds worse and worse.

Yay Erin for awesome job situation! Good news is good.

In totally petty me news, my mother is on my second to last nerve and we still have 4 days before i transition to dad-time. As she says, it's hard being an introvert with an extroverted mom. But it's not just that she's extroverted, it's that she thinks out loud. All the time. With no filters. Anyone who has ever suffered through watching a movie with me....she is 400 times worse. You can't even hear the dialogue most of the time for her constant prattle. Which of course leaves her constantly asking "what did he just say?" and finally me snapping with "if you'd just stop TALKING we all would have heard it!". I tried to laugh it off as a joke but we all know i was entirely serious. Now she's taking a shower and i'm decompressing on the internet. Oh well.

I just took mom to the airport after she was here a week. I'll miss her, and kinda even already do. But, damn, I am so glad to have my house back to just my own. There was a lot of family around and awesome times this week. Just I like my space too. I get it.