I don't think you have to be good at reading other's emotions in order to empathize. I think they are complementary but not always paired.

I don't think you have to be good at reading other's emotions in order to empathize. I think they are complementary but not always paired.

Yeah, after thinking about it, I agree. I think I can be very empathetic if I know and understand the feeling the person is going through. But I often need to be told what the person is going through first.

I think I can be very empathetic if I know and understand the feeling the person is going through. But I often need to be told what the person is going through first.

Yes, exactly! Or someone could perfectly understand what another person is feeling and just not care.

I would think that learning how to read emotional signals would be similar to learning another language. That it would be way harder to do as you get older but not impossible.

I have a hard time making eye-contact with people, so that's probably part of my problem right there.

personally, I always find myself looking at peoples' lips rather than eyes. Do most people look deeply into the eyes of someone they're talkin to?

It can. But it's not easy, and it's not enjoyable.

How does one learn that?

Um. Believe it or not, I don't want to turn this conversation, which has been about someone else and her needs, into one that's all memememe. (I say "believe it or not," because I do tend to turn everything into My Life And How This Topic Affects Me. I am aware of that.)

I'm also having a hard time finding the words to explain it, partly because it makes me sound like a sociopath (which, hey, maybe I am).

Do most people look deeply into the eyes of someone they're talkin to?

I don't. So I never notice people's eye color.

Do most people look deeply into the eyes of someone they're talkin to?

Not the whole time cuz that's creepy!

nope...I've lived that. You're not.

I find forcing eye contact to be rude. Or the sign of someone trying to put one over on you, ie, pushy sales people. Incidental, transient eye contact is fine, but sustained eye contact, no.

I have a lip fixation, but I try not to exercise it, because someone staring at my mouth would creep me out. Eye contact is better, but it has to be handled properly. Don't look me in the eye if neither of us is addressing the other one. Not unless you're a) trying to get into my pants and b) it's appropriate for you to pants enter.

My lip thing has eased up a bit now that I've started drawing more, because now everyone's face is a puzzle I'm working out how to put on paper, so I scan the whole thing repeatedly. That's probably a lot healthier.

But I really love lips.