It can. But it's not easy, and it's not enjoyable.

How does one learn that?

Um. Believe it or not, I don't want to turn this conversation, which has been about someone else and her needs, into one that's all memememe. (I say "believe it or not," because I do tend to turn everything into My Life And How This Topic Affects Me. I am aware of that.)

I'm also having a hard time finding the words to explain it, partly because it makes me sound like a sociopath (which, hey, maybe I am).

Do most people look deeply into the eyes of someone they're talkin to?

I don't. So I never notice people's eye color.

Do most people look deeply into the eyes of someone they're talkin to?

Not the whole time cuz that's creepy!

nope...I've lived that. You're not.

I find forcing eye contact to be rude. Or the sign of someone trying to put one over on you, ie, pushy sales people. Incidental, transient eye contact is fine, but sustained eye contact, no.

I have a lip fixation, but I try not to exercise it, because someone staring at my mouth would creep me out. Eye contact is better, but it has to be handled properly. Don't look me in the eye if neither of us is addressing the other one. Not unless you're a) trying to get into my pants and b) it's appropriate for you to pants enter.

My lip thing has eased up a bit now that I've started drawing more, because now everyone's face is a puzzle I'm working out how to put on paper, so I scan the whole thing repeatedly. That's probably a lot healthier.

But I really love lips.

Do most people look deeply into the eyes of someone they're talkin to?

Creeps me out when people do that. It's a primal signal of aggression, staring directly into someone's eyes for more than a couple moments! I don't think one can get a good "read" of what someone's feeling by doing that, anyway, because pretty quickly you're gonna get "agitation, distress, fear" regardless of what they were feeling *before* someone within arm's reach starting staring intently at them. (And by "them" I mean "me".)

It's a primal signal of aggression, staring directly into someone's eyes for more than a couple moments!

Why am I reading primal signals of aggression as come ons?

Should I even have typed that out loud?

Do most people look deeply into the eyes of someone they're talkin to?

Creeps me out when people do that. It's a primal signal of aggression, staring directly into someone's eyes for more than a couple moments!

I've started calling this "eyefucking," although it's not the same type of gaze that led to the fannish use of the term (see also, Angel and Lindsey).

I hate it when people won't break eye contact after an acceptable amount of time, because it feels like they're trying to climb inside my head and I just want to punch them.

In interpersonal communication, eye contact needs a balance. Too much and people are creepy. Too little and people are shady. Most people learn eye contact by interacting with others, but like most social skills, that can vary depending on who you are learning them from, your own predilictions, and social norms for your community.