You guys need to post links like that to the tumblr.

I don't have a tumblr account.

I think she means to the Good Stuff Happened Today tumblr.

t edit Ooops, I misunderstood. Sorry.

I think she means to the Good Stuff Happened Today tumblr.

Oh, yes, that's what I was assuming when I mentioned the "submit" link - Tumblr lets you set up a form to take submissions, which this one allows. If you decided to set up your own Tumblr blog, you could take submissions or not, but for the goodstuff blog, you don't need any kind of account at all. More clear now?

Somebody can be naturally sympathetic, expressing concern or compassion for your plight without being empathetic - being able to read, or know your emotions. This can lead to a lot of confusion and tension when somebody who has been sympathetic turns out to be not so empathetic.

Very true. Very true.

I like to think of myself as a very empathetic person, but I suck at reading the emotions of others.

Oh well.

This whole conversation has made me very uncomfortable because there seems to be an unspoken assumption that Bonny is somehow entitled to this woman's friendship because of a relationship they've had in the past, and I really don't believe that's ever the case, in any relationship.

I don't believe that either, and I never made any such assumption. K. has just as much right to walk away as Bonny.

Somebody can be naturally sympathetic, expressing concern or compassion for your plight without being empathetic - being able to read, or know your emotions. This can lead to a lot of confusion and tension when somebody who has been sympathetic turns out to be not so empathetic.

Too true. I'm really, really empathy-impaired. It's frustrating, because it really isn't something I can change, and I've managed to get to a point where I'm almost capable of it, but it is a constant effort, because my brain's not hardwired for it.

Plei, you could be like my mother, who understands that people feel differently than she does, she just thinks that they're wrong.

I don't think it's necessarily something that can be learned.

It can. But it's not easy, and it's not enjoyable.

I'm so thankful for every bit of advice and challenge I've gotten on this issue. I feel like I've taken up enough space, so I'm going to close my story by responding to this.

K. has just as much right to walk away as Bonny.

Zen and Jessica, I think the thing that bothered me the most over the communication I have had with K in the last few days was that I HAD come to a pretty balanced place of understanding that things change and I can't expect any more of her than she can give.

If she HAD walked away, it would have been better for both of us. She didn't. She compounded the existing hurt by not acknowledging my feelings and making the breakdown about me not communicating in a way that worked for her. The irony of that, quite frankly, burned. It was defensive and unfair. My walking away is about not wanting to take that anymore.

In conclusion. I'm sad but I really do believe that people come into our lives for all kinds of reasons and seasons. My season with K is over.

It can. But it's not easy, and it's not enjoyable.

How does one learn that?

I have a hard time making eye-contact with people, so that's probably part of my problem right there.

I think it's good to be aware of one's limitations. I just wish I was more aware of them 25 years ago. (Back then I just had a vague sense that I wasn't fitting in very well with most people.)