She IS so sensitive to her own fears and defenses that she cannot be sensitive to the emotional needs of others. Given her closer relationships with some truly difficult people, that makes sense.
I'll note here that it took me a long time to realize that we have different words for "sympathetic" and "empathetic" for a reason.
Somebody can be naturally sympathetic, expressing concern or compassion for your plight without being empathetic - being able to read, or know your emotions. This can lead to a lot of confusion and tension when somebody who has been sympathetic turns out to be not so empathetic.
I don't think it's necessarily something that can be learned. Some people are just better are reading those feelings.
I don't have a tumblr account.
You don't need one -- there's a link on the right side of the page that says "submit here".
You guys need to post links like that to the tumblr.
I don't have a tumblr account.
I think she means to the Good Stuff Happened Today tumblr.
t edit
Ooops, I misunderstood. Sorry.
I think she means to the Good Stuff Happened Today tumblr.
Oh, yes, that's what I was assuming when I mentioned the "submit" link - Tumblr lets you set up a form to take submissions, which this one allows. If you decided to set up your own Tumblr blog, you could take submissions or not, but for the goodstuff blog, you don't need any kind of account at all. More clear now?
I like to think of myself as a very empathetic person, but I suck at reading the emotions of others.
Oh well.
This whole conversation has made me very uncomfortable because there seems to be an unspoken assumption that Bonny is somehow entitled to this woman's friendship because of a relationship they've had in the past, and I really don't believe that's ever the case, in any relationship.
I don't believe that either, and I never made any such assumption. K. has just as much right to walk away as Bonny.
Somebody can be naturally sympathetic, expressing concern or compassion for your plight without being empathetic - being able to read, or know your emotions. This can lead to a lot of confusion and tension when somebody who has been sympathetic turns out to be not so empathetic.
Too true. I'm really, really empathy-impaired. It's frustrating, because it really isn't something I can change, and I've managed to get to a point where I'm almost capable of it, but it is a constant effort, because my brain's not hardwired for it.
Plei, you could be like my mother, who understands that people feel differently than she does, she just thinks that they're wrong.
