Which leads me to wonder, is there anything else you want from her at this point? Is there anything else that she could do or say that would help to bridge the gap between you? If so, then I'd say you should tell her that. If not, then I'd say you should tell her that too.
Thanks, Kate. I don't need anything, I don't think. But what could bridge the gap for me is an acknowledgment that, even if she doesn't agree, my feelings are worthy of discussion and acceptance. I would talk to her on the phone if she offered.
I totally claim my petulance over the video thing. It feels a bit too much like being called onto the carpet and, frankly, too little too late.
What is true is that I could be focusing on what I want, rather than feeling hard done by her past behavior. If the Wizard were to grant my wish it would be to hear her drop the defensive tone, acknowledge my hurt and offer to find something that would work for us both. No more or less than I have done for her before.
I am almost always the Conscientious one in my meatspace friendships(E from Entourage, right?)
loyal, inclined to befriend people who are much prettier than I am.
inclined to befriend people who are much prettier than I am.
This is totally me. With far superior fashion sense too. I very much enjoy that.
Oh facebook. I knew you would break my heart. 7th grade best friend just told me my ex hasn't dated anyone since we broke up in 2000. I hope the truth is just that he doesn't feel like talking about who he's dating with 7gbf. Why do I feel like bawling?
Just had another asthma attack while teaching. This time, the inhaler didn't help enough, and I had to dismiss the class. I'm going to go to a doctor to see if I have bronchitis, which is what I suspect. Walk-in clinic doesn't open for another hour and a half, so I'm just hanging around in my office for a little while, trying to breathe.
I had this friend who had a difficult time accepting criticism - he would just get very defensive and angry. Meanwhile, I found it difficult to offer criticism to friends. (OK, I still kinda' do.)
Once we had this conversation:
Me: Sometimes I don't tell you things that bother me because I'm afraid you'll get really mad.
Friend: I've never been so insulted in my life.
And nope, he wasn't being ironic.
A few years later he became sorta' obsessed with this nude beach. On a very nice summer day, he asked me to drive him there. I told him I was very depressed that day, that it was the most depressed and upset I'd been in years, and he could borrow my car if he wanted but I wasn't going to drive him there. He got all mad and told me that in the future he wasn't going to be as indulgent to what I wanted anymore.
That was a very weird friendship. At one point he had been in love with me; when he was over that, he was suddenly more critical (and sometimes mean) towards me.
I hope the truth is just that he doesn't feel like talking about who he's dating with 7gbf.
That seems likely, Laga. But, even if he hasn't been in another significant relationship, it might not necessarily a bad thing.
What makes you sad about it?
What makes you sad about it?
I'll always love him. The idea of him being alone and miserable is too awful.
I told him I was very depressed that day, that it was the most depressed and upset I'd been in years, and he could borrow my car if he wanted but I wasn't going to drive him there. He got all mad and told me that in the future he wasn't going to be as indulgent to what I wanted anymore.
Oh my lawerd. This feels too familiar.
When K was in town in October, smack in the middle of the great Pneumonia that-nearly-took-me-out,she spent 3 days 6 blocks from me but couldn't make time to visit...until the one day I had clients. The headline of that long weekend became, Bonny Couldn't Squeeze Me In.
Okay. I'm over it. Kate is right. I have made up my mind. I would never had left someone hanging like she did, much less when they could really have used some support.
My advice request was about how to say goodbye without being a jerk about it and in diplomatic enough terms that a defensive person can hear. However, while I would like to do it well, I guess there is no way to do it perfectly.
I don't think you owe her a goodbye. And if you just let the relationship trail off maybe in a couple years you can reconnect and it will be better.
