ugh, bonny. At this point I would be asking myself if the good that's coming out of this relationship outweighs the bad. Is bff worth the effort when she doesn't seem to be willing to meet you half way, let alone understanding how you feel?

Sadly, this is my sense of it. Still, as a normally cordial person, I'm not sure how to articulate that without coming off as a bitca.

Well, you could see setting up a camera as acknowledging your feelings. You said that was important to you and now she's doing it. If it really has been a lon friendship, I would give it another chance where you can speak to each other. She may be waiting to talk about feelings with you until you can actually "see" each other.

Do you have to? I feel like you laid out all your feelings for her and she completely overlooked them. If it was me I'd queue up a bunch of, "sorry, I don't have room/time for that right now" for her and figure maybe in a few years the friendship will come back around.

Barb, listen to sj. sj is wise.

bonny, listen to Laga. Laga is wise. I don't think you can teach her to be willing to acknowledge or consider your needs and feelings. She has made it plain that it is ok for her to jerk you around with regards to when and how you spend time together, but that it is not ok for you to have emotions independent of her judgment. Look at which way the energy is flowing - can you sustain the energy you spend on her, with the return she is giving you? Or is it time to just let her go.

Scrappy, I take your point but one thing I said initially was that I had waited so long for the video thing that I'm not sure I even want it any more. I should mention that I asked more than 6 months ago. She said she was down with it and would get to it in a week. After two reminders and a particularly snotty/defensive "I don't have time to find my camera!' response about 5 months ago, I gave up. NOW, it's her idea and, therefore, the only solution.

Look at which way the energy is flowing - can you sustain the energy you spend on her, with the return she is giving you? Or is it time to just let her go.

Yeeeaaaaahhhh. There's the rub.

Scrappy is wise once again. I have no idea if this is true for your friend but if I was on the receiving end of the letter you sent her I'd be feeling hurt and defensive and also like I couldn't really express myself in an email message.

I can also see where setting up a video chat would be the kind of task that would overwhelm me. No matter how much I loved the person who would be on the other end of it.

Not that your feelings of disappointment in her and the friendship aren't valid, bonny.

gnarrgh! I'm not ready to get up yet but I'm supposed to help take the babysat to the park today and I need a wash.

Matilda likes to compliment me on my belly size, as if I were some Diamond Age industrialist and a solid belly presence was a sign of health and prosperity.

Mal lost privileges to be in the bathroom with me while I wash my hair (kneeling beside the tub) because he WILL NOT obey House Rule #3: Do Not Play With A Parent's Woggle.

Uh. That being our word for grabbable midsection fat. Originally used to describe The Cat Legion's physique.

I am apple shaped and it's very frustrating. Midsection fat is totally difficult to lose.