Ruining it by not eating the turkey? I can see families having issues if they were told they couldn't serve turkey or have turkey around but just not eating it? Weird.

Just sitting there not eating turkey makes the turkey-eaters feel guilty about eating it, and thus the holiday is ruined. Or some older relative asks why the person isn't eating the turkey, person responds, "I'm vegan," older relative starts talking about how you should be thankful to have meat, because there wasn't any during the Depression, and somehow this becomes a whole battle.

People can get weird about stuff like that. My mom's cousin once asked me why I was veg, and when I answered, "For animal rights reasons" (which is my usual answer when someone asks me this at the dinner table) and she was confused and asked me what animals have to do with meat. A few years later, my mom was bragging about how the turkey she was serving was a local free-range turkey from a farm nearby where the turkeys get to run around and stuff, and this same cousin told her to stop because she didn't want to think about the turkey being an animal while she was eating it.

I just - wow.

I mean, my family is far from perfect. I spent last night crying because of family crap that has me in a really shitty place. (When I can figure how to express it without sounding all butthurt I will try.) But at least my family's insanity is still sane, you know?

my grandmother used to get really upset after i went veggie, she took it waaay personally that i wasn't eating *her* turkey or *her* venison. Made me really want to spend holidays elsewhere... I'm super lucky that my immediate family are way supportive of my veggie lifesytle and my awesome Dad even jokes about fattening up the sacrificial squash before i visit :) I wish everyone could be that reasonable and accommodating. Until then, in group dining situations, i continue to offer to bring a "side" that can sub as my main course just in case and always keep an eye on the offerings in case i need to hoard it for myself.

I've seen letters to advice columns from at least three different people who said that they went to a wedding, then found out the food being served was vegan, and so they left, taking their present with them, because they felt the bride and groom were being incredibly rude to expect a gift when they weren't serving meat. All three of these people (this was three different advice columns, a few years apart, so I'm pretty sure it was actually three different people) wrote to the advice column wanting the columnist to tell other brides and grooms out there not to do something so tacky as have a vegan wedding.

WHAAAAAAT?!?! That is crazy-making. That kind of attitude would make me want to stage a wedding reception with a garlanded heifer roaming around, and a big ole butcher knife by a fire pit with a "do it yourself MEAT bar" sign. Just to watch the looks on their faces.

Yeah, that's a lot of huh there. And brenda, don't feel obligated, but whenever you want to, we're here for you.

We are having turkey this year despite the fact that my brother in law doesn't like it. To his credit, he never told us this during all the previous years where we fed it to him. But he mentioned it offhandedly before last year, and so my mom didn't serve it. But then we had ham at the other inlaws and we were all, hey, what happened to our turkey? So this year we're having turkey and also something for him. Which I think is fine.

We've done that in years past for various friends/family members with varying dietary requirements. My favorite was bringing an awesome (but not very Thanksgivingy) Japanese salmon dish for the pescetarian. She was very appreciative, but then it was also everyone else's favorite dish. So there was no downside!

I think people reacting to veganism for animal rights reasons feel like you must surely judge them for their animal mutilating ways and their response to you is out of their misplaced guilt.

this same cousin told her to stop because she didn't want to think about the turkey being an animal while she was eating it.

Your cousin is, shall we say, not the sharpest bulb on the block.

(Yes, that was a deliberate misquote.)

Nothing says Thanksgiving like kicking family members out of your home because of what they eat.

All three of these people (this was three different advice columns, a few years apart, so I'm pretty sure it was actually three different people) wrote to the advice column wanting the columnist to tell other brides and grooms out there not to do something so tacky as have a vegan wedding.

I hope the columnist (politely) ripped them a new one about this.

I hope the columnist (politely) ripped them a new one about this.

I love reading Slate's Prudie. She's awesome at telling people who are insane how very much they are insane. (Or rude, or whatever.)