I've seen letters to advice columns from at least three different people who said that they went to a wedding, then found out the food being served was vegan, and so they left, taking their present with them, because they felt the bride and groom were being incredibly rude to expect a gift when they weren't serving meat. All three of these people (this was three different advice columns, a few years apart, so I'm pretty sure it was actually three different people) wrote to the advice column wanting the columnist to tell other brides and grooms out there not to do something so tacky as have a vegan wedding.

WHAAAAAAT?!?! That is crazy-making. That kind of attitude would make me want to stage a wedding reception with a garlanded heifer roaming around, and a big ole butcher knife by a fire pit with a "do it yourself MEAT bar" sign. Just to watch the looks on their faces.

Yeah, that's a lot of huh there. And brenda, don't feel obligated, but whenever you want to, we're here for you.

We are having turkey this year despite the fact that my brother in law doesn't like it. To his credit, he never told us this during all the previous years where we fed it to him. But he mentioned it offhandedly before last year, and so my mom didn't serve it. But then we had ham at the other inlaws and we were all, hey, what happened to our turkey? So this year we're having turkey and also something for him. Which I think is fine.

We've done that in years past for various friends/family members with varying dietary requirements. My favorite was bringing an awesome (but not very Thanksgivingy) Japanese salmon dish for the pescetarian. She was very appreciative, but then it was also everyone else's favorite dish. So there was no downside!

I think people reacting to veganism for animal rights reasons feel like you must surely judge them for their animal mutilating ways and their response to you is out of their misplaced guilt.

this same cousin told her to stop because she didn't want to think about the turkey being an animal while she was eating it.

Your cousin is, shall we say, not the sharpest bulb on the block.

(Yes, that was a deliberate misquote.)

Nothing says Thanksgiving like kicking family members out of your home because of what they eat.

All three of these people (this was three different advice columns, a few years apart, so I'm pretty sure it was actually three different people) wrote to the advice column wanting the columnist to tell other brides and grooms out there not to do something so tacky as have a vegan wedding.

I hope the columnist (politely) ripped them a new one about this.

I hope the columnist (politely) ripped them a new one about this.

I love reading Slate's Prudie. She's awesome at telling people who are insane how very much they are insane. (Or rude, or whatever.)

I do have a cousin and her husband who are vegetarian. They live in the midwest and one of the few Thanksgivings I've been able to spend with them I made sure there were veggie side dishes - even simple stuff like cooking green beans in olive oil and not all in bacon grease.

As we were talking I found out that while my aunt takes these steps her in laws have never provided a single veggie dish for the holidays. Not even something as simple as changing out bacon for oil.

I think aggressively talking about the reasons you chose to be a vegetarian or vegan during a meal traditionally centered around turkey is in poor taste. But answering questions when asked is fine.

I have an aunt who will always take a little bit of the stuffing and bake it separate for me. Because I once mentioned I liked it that way better. Truthfully, I just really dislike stuffing cooked in the bird and adore it cooked in something ceramic. But I'd only barely mentioned it during a non-holiday meal. It always makes me so happy when I see that casserole not just because mmmm, baked bready stuff, but because she just quietly listened, took note and wanted to do this for me.

I have a friend that would like to be vegatarian , and possible even vegan. For a combination of reasons - including carbon footprint. And after trying , experimenting and studying a number of issues ( goat cheese/ milk my be better than soy from a carbon foot print view. we do some less than ideal farming ). She has decided to cook vegetarian . She will eat what ever anyone has cooked for her . and restaurants , she is trying to go with a flexible mindset. It is interesting to see other people judge. Interestingly, I have found vegans some of the least judgemental about food issues. Maybe because if you have been doing it for awhile, you know it isn't easy?