Sometimes people are so WTF. I come from a clan with *strong* feelings on thanksgiving food. We still talk about the Stuffing Wars of '82, or the year someone bought unsalted tortilla chips. But there are now a couple of vegetarians in the mix, and we just...add some dishes. I'll admit the year they were doing the raw thing was a little eye-rolly, but basically everyone just said "we can do crudites, but otherwise you're on your own to make what you need". And reserved the right to give them shit, but everyone gets shit about everything in this group. I really can't fathom the kind of mentality you hear about in those kinds of stories.

How can people not see the ridiculousness of being rude to your family on Thanksgiving?

This year I'm using facon in the sweet potatoes when 1/12 of our guests are veggies.

How can people not see the ridiculousness of being rude to your family on Thanksgiving?

Wait. What? Isn't this an essential part of the holidays? Usually though, it happens after dinner.

Oh sure. But not over stuff like that.

This happens all the time on the NY Times Health Blog -- they publish a post of vegetarian or vegan recipes, and people freak out in the comments

Ugh. I much prefer their (I think) food section where articles on meat have a link where you can go discuss vegan/carnivore/omni/only eat purple food issues because it's NOT allowed on other articles.

I know several vegans who won't go home for Thanksgiving, because they've got family members who yell at them and tell them they're ruining the holiday by not eating turkey.

Ruining it by not eating the turkey? I can see families having issues if they were told they couldn't serve turkey or have turkey around but just not eating it? Weird.

Oh my... look what just landed on my doorstep, y'all.

The real, honest-to-Murgatroyd finished product.

And it's sooooo pretty.

[link]

Ruining it by not eating the turkey? I can see families having issues if they were told they couldn't serve turkey or have turkey around but just not eating it? Weird.

Just sitting there not eating turkey makes the turkey-eaters feel guilty about eating it, and thus the holiday is ruined. Or some older relative asks why the person isn't eating the turkey, person responds, "I'm vegan," older relative starts talking about how you should be thankful to have meat, because there wasn't any during the Depression, and somehow this becomes a whole battle.

People can get weird about stuff like that. My mom's cousin once asked me why I was veg, and when I answered, "For animal rights reasons" (which is my usual answer when someone asks me this at the dinner table) and she was confused and asked me what animals have to do with meat. A few years later, my mom was bragging about how the turkey she was serving was a local free-range turkey from a farm nearby where the turkeys get to run around and stuff, and this same cousin told her to stop because she didn't want to think about the turkey being an animal while she was eating it.

I just - wow.

I mean, my family is far from perfect. I spent last night crying because of family crap that has me in a really shitty place. (When I can figure how to express it without sounding all butthurt I will try.) But at least my family's insanity is still sane, you know?

my grandmother used to get really upset after i went veggie, she took it waaay personally that i wasn't eating *her* turkey or *her* venison. Made me really want to spend holidays elsewhere... I'm super lucky that my immediate family are way supportive of my veggie lifesytle and my awesome Dad even jokes about fattening up the sacrificial squash before i visit :) I wish everyone could be that reasonable and accommodating. Until then, in group dining situations, i continue to offer to bring a "side" that can sub as my main course just in case and always keep an eye on the offerings in case i need to hoard it for myself.

I've seen letters to advice columns from at least three different people who said that they went to a wedding, then found out the food being served was vegan, and so they left, taking their present with them, because they felt the bride and groom were being incredibly rude to expect a gift when they weren't serving meat. All three of these people (this was three different advice columns, a few years apart, so I'm pretty sure it was actually three different people) wrote to the advice column wanting the columnist to tell other brides and grooms out there not to do something so tacky as have a vegan wedding.