sj, wishing you less-sick~ma. I hope the bride doesn't send you loopy.

That's funny, Teppy! You should have a not-engaged party.

Thanks for the advice on my little quandry, all, which is good.

Seska, do you have a personal connection with anyone in charge, that you could approach privately with your concerns?

Yes, I know some of the people running the org, and I have been talking to at least one of them about these kinds of things. I had understood that this person was already aware of my inability to communicate on the phone (although I don't always explain these things well, so it's possible not).

Shir, your advice was just shy of what I had already done - I sent an e-mail this morning which wasn't aggressive, but was very clear that I can only do so much within my role if I don't have the access and resources to do so. I don't want to threaten to quit, as that could be seen as passive-aggressive or manipulative, but I hope I've now communicated that it's becoming almost impossible for me to carry out my role effectively.

And I'm not sure whether this is feasible because I don't know the specifics, but if possible, be willing to be creative. The point is to enable you to communicate with the group, not necessarily to make sure communication happens in a certain way. So be open to alternatives that allow you to communicate, even if it isn't necessarily the exact method you have in mind.

Oh, completely. I'm nothing if not flexible, and I'd be willing to communicate in any way that would work - including travelling back to London as often as needed for face-to-face meetings. I've asked for a meeting with the person in charge, and will do whatever seems to work, but it does need to be accessible to me.

I think part of the confusion here is that I neither have a hearing impairment, nor is my cognitive/ASD impairment always very clear to other people (I have really good coping strategies), so it doesn't make obvious sense that I can't use the phone (and do various other things that I'm being asked to do, but which I wasn't told about when I took on the role). And maybe people also don't quite get that it's possible to be both physically and invisibly disabled! Generally it seems to confuse people that there are things I can't do for cognitive reasons. The fact that I'm a postgrad student doesn't help with that. I could probably be clearer about what I need, and what 'accessible' is for me. How I get clearer about that, though, is difficult for me. I have no idea. I don't want to have to explain what an autistic spectrum condition is to everyone I work with, especially when I don't have Asperger's and not everyone recognises the condition I do have as an ASD. And I don't like oversharing medical stuff. And, wah.

On the plus side, packing is going well. The Girl is spinning around the flat like Taz. Whee. And I got a support plan agreed by social workers in Nottingham, so I will have PCAs there (this could easily have failed to get agreed in this economic climate).

Teppy, I had to read your FB post twice last night to make sure you weren't saying you'd gotten engaged.

Yay, for Drew@Home on the real food!

Steph, that is an awesome pinata. Ginger FTW!

Happy Belated Birthday to Nora!

Rest well, bonny, and get better soon.

I'm way far behind and not sure who else needs hugs, but do consider yourself hugged if you need/want it.

Seska, I do make an effort...it's just hard to lose. But I went through a really touchy period where I took "lame" personally so I try not to engage on that front too heavily. I made that point just to say that we all are products of an ableist culture, I suppose, and that things we learn as children can be the deepest habit. Also, if somebody is commited to insult you, they will...maybe they'll just call 'em "Kenyan socialists"

I made that point just to say that we all are products of an ableist culture, I suppose, and that things we learn as children can be the deepest habit.

Oh, completely. Also a sexist, racist, heterocentric, Western imperialist (etc) culture. Didn't mean to suggest you were wrong to use any specific language. We all have different terms we react strongly to. And then there's the reclaiming fun. But The Girl is only allowed to call me a cripple in front of people who won't find it shocking. (I'm very British.)

Why is my doctor's office closed on a Thursday? Going to have to register with a GP really fast after I move to get meds. Bloody nationalised healthcare. Socialism does indeed lead to mass, um, inconvenience.

Teppy, I had to read your FB post twice last night to make sure you weren't saying you'd gotten engaged.

Ahahaha! Man, I gotta be better at the clarity thing!

(For the record, should I get engaged, any announcement of same will NOT be tucked in the middle of a FB post.)

One thing I've learned from lurking in various communities and blogs, and from personal experience, is that constantly being an educator is exhausting. Especially when it's something personal that is frequently dismissed, belittled, or perceived as made-up. And when one has multiple aspects that require endless education, well, it gets exponentially more exhausting.

By which I mean to validate your frustration, Seska, and the reluctance/weariness that you feel about explaining *yet again* your need for accomodation. It's easy to wonder if the movement wants you (general you), and to conclude that your mental health and self-respect take precedence.

Thanks, Cashmere. If she were paying me I could see trying to be a control freak about it, but it is a gift so I wish she would back off a bit. She doesn't want one for the mens room at all so I'm glad I didn't already buy the top hat.

Thanks, smonster. It is exhausting, but it's also what I do. So on the one hand, I get hugely frustrated, but on the other hand I spend a lot of time delivering training around accessibility and inclusion. But it's one thing to advise on policy and practice around access and inclusion, and quite another to stand up for yourself.

I hadn't even thought of putting baskets in the restrooms (/bad bride)