Seska, I do make an effort...it's just hard to lose. But I went through a really touchy period where I took "lame" personally so I try not to engage on that front too heavily. I made that point just to say that we all are products of an ableist culture, I suppose, and that things we learn as children can be the deepest habit. Also, if somebody is commited to insult you, they will...maybe they'll just call 'em "Kenyan socialists"

I made that point just to say that we all are products of an ableist culture, I suppose, and that things we learn as children can be the deepest habit.

Oh, completely. Also a sexist, racist, heterocentric, Western imperialist (etc) culture. Didn't mean to suggest you were wrong to use any specific language. We all have different terms we react strongly to. And then there's the reclaiming fun. But The Girl is only allowed to call me a cripple in front of people who won't find it shocking. (I'm very British.)

Why is my doctor's office closed on a Thursday? Going to have to register with a GP really fast after I move to get meds. Bloody nationalised healthcare. Socialism does indeed lead to mass, um, inconvenience.

Teppy, I had to read your FB post twice last night to make sure you weren't saying you'd gotten engaged.

Ahahaha! Man, I gotta be better at the clarity thing!

(For the record, should I get engaged, any announcement of same will NOT be tucked in the middle of a FB post.)

One thing I've learned from lurking in various communities and blogs, and from personal experience, is that constantly being an educator is exhausting. Especially when it's something personal that is frequently dismissed, belittled, or perceived as made-up. And when one has multiple aspects that require endless education, well, it gets exponentially more exhausting.

By which I mean to validate your frustration, Seska, and the reluctance/weariness that you feel about explaining *yet again* your need for accomodation. It's easy to wonder if the movement wants you (general you), and to conclude that your mental health and self-respect take precedence.

Thanks, Cashmere. If she were paying me I could see trying to be a control freak about it, but it is a gift so I wish she would back off a bit. She doesn't want one for the mens room at all so I'm glad I didn't already buy the top hat.

Thanks, smonster. It is exhausting, but it's also what I do. So on the one hand, I get hugely frustrated, but on the other hand I spend a lot of time delivering training around accessibility and inclusion. But it's one thing to advise on policy and practice around access and inclusion, and quite another to stand up for yourself.

I hadn't even thought of putting baskets in the restrooms (/bad bride)

I hadn't even thought of putting baskets in the restrooms

People do that? I doubt I'll have time to check there's paper in there...

Not everyone does it, but it usually has safety pins, clear nailpolish, hand lotion, etc that guests might need. I enjoy making them and I am good at it, which is not something I can say about many things so when the bride say don't do this or that because it is silly or stupid, I get hurt

I can't tell you how happy I always am to see those baskets at an event. Dress hem torn? Safety pin! Run in pantyhose? Clear nail polish! Stuff I don't always have in my purse is welcome and a sweet idea.