Kate, had you not seen Belinda before? It is the true face of horror. Cthulhu has NOTHING on Belinda.

Totally unrelatedly, that uncomfortable conversation about transsexual/transgender people elseweb that I mentioned maybe a week ago? It's still going on (though I am now only lurking, not posting), and it has slid into the well-worn pattern of:

Cisgender person: So, trans* person, are you pre-op or post-op?

Trans* person: Wow, that is intrusive and inappropriate and not relevant unless you and I are going to have sex.

Cisgender person: But whyyyyyyy? Why is it so wrong to ask you about your genitals, person who I have never met?

Trans* person: Uh. Seriously?

Cisgender person: EDUCATE MEEEEEEEE!!!!

Trans* person: Not my job. Your privilege is showing.

Cisgender person: [tone argument] EDUCATE MEEEEEEEE!!!!

Trans* person: Hey, have you heard of the Internet? You can educate yourself by googling stuff.

Cisgender person: But YOU'RE right here! Isn't it better to get information from a real live transgender person?

Trans* person: Who do you think wrote the information on the other Internet sites. Not my job to educate you. Just fucking google it.

Cisgender person: [tone argument]

Me: t facepalm

Teppy, Facepalm is the only answer.

Have a question that needs Buffista common sense. I am able to handle rinsed canned beans fine. But beans made from scratch cause me problems. I've tried soaking, not soaking, replacing water at every possible stage, cooking on top of stove, followed by use of rinced cooked beans in slow cooker. Major digestive issued. My current theory. The higher temperature and pressure of canned beans breaks down some of the indigestible fiber and protein than normal cooking does.

So thinking trying a pressure cooker. If it works major savings by cooking dry beans instead of buying canned. But if it does not work, don't think I'll get that much use out of a pressure cooker for other purposes. So what are odds that my guess is right and the higher temperature and pressure will make a difference in digestibility? Do you think there is a better than even chance my guess is a good one?

Kate, had you not seen Belinda before? It is the true face of horror. Cthulhu has NOTHING on Belinda.

Somehow I had missed it! Ah, that was a simpler time, before I looked pure evil in the face and lived to tell the tale.

Cisgender person: But whyyyyyyy? Why is it so wrong to ask you about your genitals, person who I have never met?

Trans* person: Uh. Seriously?

Oh god. Where to start with the cluesticking??

TB, sorry, I don't know enough to help answer your question. Can you maybe borrow a pressure cooker from a friend first to give it a try before buying one yourself?

It makes a great deal of sense to me. People have been blaming commercial processing of food for breaking down nutrients etc. for decades. It makes sense that it would break down other things. Isn't that why they created some forms of cooking, to make things more digestible?

I'm going to have to come to the cisgender person's defense, a little. If they're already in a conversation with a person re: a subject of interest, why wouldn't they think that the conversation should continue on various aspects of the subject? Granted, a courteous statement of "I prefer not to discuss my specific circumstances" should be respected, but simply raising the question shouldn't be cause for getting so offended, and pressing the issue should only result in a more firm "I prefer not to discuss it" that the other person should go "OK, sorry" to. I think contemptuously accusing them of rampant privilegism is a little much.

I hear what you're saying, Connie, and obviously neither of us has read the actual conversation taking place between these people, so we don't know what words were used. And I can understand being the cis person who doesn't think before asking "are you pre-op or post-op?" But if it were me, and the person I was talking to said "That's an extremely personal question and I'd prefer not to answer it," it seems to me that that's where the line of inquiry should end. I don't think "I prefer not to discuss my genitals with people I don't know" is an unreasonable stance, or one that should be difficult to understand.

Reasonable to ask someone online about the state of their genitalia? Uh, just so's y'alls clear--it's not reasonable to ask me. Hell no.

Reasonable to ask someone online about the state of their genitalia? Uh, just so's y'alls clear--it's not reasonable to ask me. Hell no.

Yeah, the stuff physically connected to my body is not for asking about.

Watson (the accessory under my Alan Moore costume), being a combination of soft sculpture crafting and gender expression stuff for me, however, is fair game.

I'm going to have to come to the cisgender person's defense, a little. If they're already in a conversation with a person re: a subject of interest, why wouldn't they think that the conversation should continue on various aspects of the subject?

*Some* aspects, yes. Some are fine, but some are not. Asking someone whether they've had surgery on their genitals is not acceptable. Or, as ita said, there's no call to ask *anyone* about the state of their genitalia. If you're in a relationship/situation where you might be having sex with someone, then at some point, those 2 people should discuss it. But beyond that, it's very not cool. That kind of question has the effect of reducing the individual to his/her genitals, and *not* doing so is kind of the point when people are discussing transgender issues.

I think contemptuously accusing them of rampant privilegism is a little much.

It wasn't contemptuous, and I didn't realize my paraphrase made it seem so t edit (if contempt was inferred, it was probably my own contempt), and the word "rampant" was never used. It is, however, a big case of someone who is privileged in one area demanding that the person who is not privileged be the one to educate her.

Now, I don't know how you feel about that issue -- whether it's the responsibility of the less-privileged person to provide education on demand to the more-privileged person -- but it happens in many, many, many areas. Feminism. Racial groups. Gay/bisexual people. And with gender issues. And by and large, the people who are in the less-privileged position say, repeatedly, that it is not their job to educate people, when there is already good, clear information out there that can be easily found.

I can't quarrel with that.

Watson

You are twisted and brilliant. I loves you foreverz.