I'm going to have to come to the cisgender person's defense, a little. If they're already in a conversation with a person re: a subject of interest, why wouldn't they think that the conversation should continue on various aspects of the subject? Granted, a courteous statement of "I prefer not to discuss my specific circumstances" should be respected, but simply raising the question shouldn't be cause for getting so offended, and pressing the issue should only result in a more firm "I prefer not to discuss it" that the other person should go "OK, sorry" to. I think contemptuously accusing them of rampant privilegism is a little much.

I hear what you're saying, Connie, and obviously neither of us has read the actual conversation taking place between these people, so we don't know what words were used. And I can understand being the cis person who doesn't think before asking "are you pre-op or post-op?" But if it were me, and the person I was talking to said "That's an extremely personal question and I'd prefer not to answer it," it seems to me that that's where the line of inquiry should end. I don't think "I prefer not to discuss my genitals with people I don't know" is an unreasonable stance, or one that should be difficult to understand.

Reasonable to ask someone online about the state of their genitalia? Uh, just so's y'alls clear--it's not reasonable to ask me. Hell no.

Reasonable to ask someone online about the state of their genitalia? Uh, just so's y'alls clear--it's not reasonable to ask me. Hell no.

Yeah, the stuff physically connected to my body is not for asking about.

Watson (the accessory under my Alan Moore costume), being a combination of soft sculpture crafting and gender expression stuff for me, however, is fair game.

I'm going to have to come to the cisgender person's defense, a little. If they're already in a conversation with a person re: a subject of interest, why wouldn't they think that the conversation should continue on various aspects of the subject?

*Some* aspects, yes. Some are fine, but some are not. Asking someone whether they've had surgery on their genitals is not acceptable. Or, as ita said, there's no call to ask *anyone* about the state of their genitalia. If you're in a relationship/situation where you might be having sex with someone, then at some point, those 2 people should discuss it. But beyond that, it's very not cool. That kind of question has the effect of reducing the individual to his/her genitals, and *not* doing so is kind of the point when people are discussing transgender issues.

I think contemptuously accusing them of rampant privilegism is a little much.

It wasn't contemptuous, and I didn't realize my paraphrase made it seem so t edit (if contempt was inferred, it was probably my own contempt), and the word "rampant" was never used. It is, however, a big case of someone who is privileged in one area demanding that the person who is not privileged be the one to educate her.

Now, I don't know how you feel about that issue -- whether it's the responsibility of the less-privileged person to provide education on demand to the more-privileged person -- but it happens in many, many, many areas. Feminism. Racial groups. Gay/bisexual people. And with gender issues. And by and large, the people who are in the less-privileged position say, repeatedly, that it is not their job to educate people, when there is already good, clear information out there that can be easily found.

I can't quarrel with that.

Watson

You are twisted and brilliant. I loves you foreverz.

it is not their job to educate people,

No, but I would think some would take it as a golden opportunity to make sure that the best information gets distributed. "I don't like the assumptions you're making, but I can't be assed to give you better information, go find it yourself, privileged bitch."

Not a quote from anyone nor my assumption of the opinions of anyone here, as I hope needn't be explicitly stated but am stating anyway. I just find it weird that rather than offering proper information to someone asking questions, the feeling is to send that questioner off into the unreliable wilds of the Internet.

You are twisted and brilliant. I loves you foreverz.

You have *seen* him, right? He looks like an uncut little cuddly jumper of a sockcock.

He's a drab mustard shade and ribbed.

It's hilarious.

That's... Yeah, very Watson indeed.

No, but I would think some would take it as a golden opportunity to make sure that the best information gets distributed.

You CAN do that, IF YOU WISH, but it is not your obligation. If my husband says he's Jewish, is it okay for a stranger to ask if he is circumcised? Is he then obligated to "educate" him about Jewish customs? Assuming that because someone is in a minority you are interested in they are then obliged to answer your questions about themselves is a pretty big assumption.