P-C, I have to agree with not putting anything on fb you wouldn't say to your parents. Lj and here would be slightly safer spaces to vent, I would think.

Yeah, I know. Although I have no idea what my mom even thinks I posted, just that I mentioned it. So now I'm a terrible son for telling people I feel like a terrible son.

Nothing fancy, just chicken and broccoli quesadillas.

That's fancy for me! Mmm, sounds good.

Anything involves the DMV totally counts as multi-onerous tasks IMO!

PC - your mom was looking to pick a fight, and will settle for any fight. So not your job. She needs a different hobby, maybe, but that's not your job either.

Anything involves the DMV totally counts as multi-onerous tasks IMO!

I have too many ridiculous nightmare stories about this place. And too many questions about why one of their branches needs a super-strength truck-proof barrier gate at the entrance.

HA!

P-C, I know you realize this, but you have to internalize it: In the eyes of your parents, nothing you do will ever be good enough or dutiful enough. You need to know this like you know 2+2=4, or Friday follows Thursday.

Once you get it at that level, the knowledge can be quite liberating.

In the eyes of your parents, nothing you do will ever be good enough or dutiful enough

I know I've told this story before, but it bears repeating,. Every time we saw them, my MiL nagged my DH about his hair (too long), his weight and his smoking. One summer, he stopped smoking. lost 50lbs and got his hair cut. I told him, "Your mother won't have anything to say to you." He assured me that she would find something. Sure enough, we walked in the house and the very first thing she said to him was "Oh, no--your hair has gotten so gray!"

You need to know this like you know 2+2=4, or Friday follows Thursday.

And tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards? I got that down.

Once you get it at that level, the knowledge can be quite liberating.

I have that knowledge, for sure, but, I don't know, I guess I'm disappointed in my parents for being disappointed in me or something. I WANT MORE FROM THEM.

I WANT MORE FROM THEM.

You gotta give that up. Which sucks a LOT to do. Everyone deserves parents that actually parent well, but unfortunately, we don't always get that. *They* show no signs of change at this point, nor no signs of wanting to change. So if you keep wanting better from them, you are going to keep being let down. *You* have to be the one to say (feel free to paraphrase), "God damn it, I deserve fucking BETTER than this, but they aren't going to provide it, so I am going to give that desire up."

And you feel SO MUCH BETTER. Seriously, trust me. I know from giving up expectations of good parenting.

Dude, I'm so calling P-C out on Rebecca Blacking us.

Dude, I'm so calling P-C out on Rebecca Blacking us.

Oh god, I'm so pop-culture-ignorant that I have no idea what that means.