But I'm a grown-up. If I want a cupcake or long hot bubblebath, I'll have it.

This is me exactly.

Are there people who are actually withholding good things from themselves because they think they haven't earned them?

And I have wondered the same thing, practically verbatim.

Maybe I'm just not wired into a task/reward structure that works for other people.

I think this is probably it, at least for me. (Or perhaps I am too self-indulgent. Dunno.)

I'm seriously debating keeping a log of day-to-day activities, so I can see where wasted time is coming into play.

I'm totally talking about this in 'Business'.

It's been pretty eye-opening. Not that I didn't know about my procrastination problem. That's why I'm logging, after all, but it has given me a strange boost of energy that I didn't expect.

I'm hoping it actually contributes to my efficiency, sooner rather than later.

It's been pretty eye-opening. Not that I didn't know about my procrastination problem. That's why I'm logging, after all, but it has given me a strange boost of energy that I didn't expect.

I'm hoping it actually contributes to my efficiency, sooner rather than later.

We had so many things to get done before vacation that I printed out a blank month calendar and just assigned things to certain days. Or, really, I'd take a task -- clean off dining room table, for instance -- and write it over several days, so that I had wiggle room, and if I didn't get it done on one specific day, I didn't just ruin my whole schedule.

It worked so well that I need to do the same thing for basic weekly (monthly, etc.) cleaning and other maintenance. That way stuff might actually get done if I have it "scheduled."

t edit Or...do people do that already? Is that a basic aspect of Life As An Adult that I didn't know about?

One thing that NEVER occurred to me to do, but which makes total sense (to me) now that I saw it, was that Tim's mom would keep records of, for instance, holiday dinners -- what size ham, who brought what side dishes, how many people were there, etc. It really has helped Tim's dad now that his mom has passed away, but I have to say, *I* think it's brilliant. I totally need to do that. Er, if we actually hosted large groups, I would.

Is that the kind of thing that was in housekeeping books given to new brides back in the day? I would have badmouthed such a thing as being anti-feminist, but now it just seems like good sense.

We had so many things to get done before vacation that I printed out a blank month calendar and just assigned things to certain days. Or, really, I'd take a task -- clean off dining room table, for instance -- and write it over several days, so that I had wiggle room, and if I didn't get it done on one specific day, I didn't just ruin my whole schedule.

Bravo to you Steph, for the structure _and_ the wiggle room. Way to make it work!

I was just talking to a couple today about scheduling their 'special time.'

It can be difficult to encourage folks past the 'that's a nice idea, we should do it' stage into the 'this is how we are going to do it' stage.

Writing stuff down makes a huge difference.

I think I need to do planning, but with the wiggle room Steph mentioned. I tried planning out my weekends for a while, but when it came to the time, I would just feel not in the mood to do what was on the list (even though it wasn't necessarily chore-type stuff). I was worried wiggle room would help with the self-sabotage, but I'm beginning to think the lack of it made me fight against my own scheduling.

The weird part is, I don't have this problem with my work-work stuff, only my leisure time stuff (and especially leisure time chores).

I was just talking to a couple today about scheduling their 'special time.'

Ha! THAT, of course, we don't schedule, and we pay a price for not planning. We both procrastinate, and good intentions don't count for much when it's suddenly midnight and "Want to have sex?" translates to "You are going to get 5 hours of sleep tonight!"

(And yes, I am Sheldon-like enough that a simple "Want to have sex?" is much better than trying out some smoooov moves on me. Also, we've been together for 5 years; the moves are no longer smooooov.)

So, uh, yeah. We really need to schedule sexytimes. Or even just movietimes.

One thing I do is "plan to do nothing" Not have nothing planned, plan to do nothing. It's a huge recharge. I deliberately don't worry about unfolded laundry or errands that need to be run. I just relax. I did it on the 4th, and it was great. Until WW3 with fireworks started in my 'hood.

Also, we've been together for 5 years

What? You have not!

when it came to the time, I would just feel not in the mood to do what was on the list (even though it wasn't necessarily chore-type stuff). I was worried wiggle room would help with the self-sabotage, but I'm beginning to think the lack of it made me fight against my own scheduling.

Seriously, having a 2- to 3-day range to decide what day I'm going to clean the dog bed and what day I'm going to clean the goddamn baseboards was a GODSEND. Because a 1-day assignment meant that if I wasn't in the mood for baseboards, then I just destroyed my nifty schedule and had to shift other stuff around.

This way allows for a more organic shifting. And, honestly, allotting 2-3 days for a given chore did NOT lead to me doing them all on Day 3. A lot of times I would look at the calendar and think, "Hey, I can clean the dog bed in 20 minutes! I'M DOING IT NOW!" And then I could cross it off and the next day or 2 were "free." Which is cool.

records of, for instance, holiday dinners

Steph, my mom and I do that just for Christmas - we end up having somewhere between 8 and 25 people over depending on who is in town, so we have a grid with # of people = ham/potatoes/turkey size, then we spilt the shopping and cooking. That's the only way we could do it. I have NO idea how my grandmother did it all by herslef, especially since she did a sit-down dinner for 25 to 30 back in the day oy!