We had so many things to get done before vacation that I printed out a blank month calendar and just assigned things to certain days. Or, really, I'd take a task -- clean off dining room table, for instance -- and write it over several days, so that I had wiggle room, and if I didn't get it done on one specific day, I didn't just ruin my whole schedule.

Bravo to you Steph, for the structure _and_ the wiggle room. Way to make it work!

I was just talking to a couple today about scheduling their 'special time.'

It can be difficult to encourage folks past the 'that's a nice idea, we should do it' stage into the 'this is how we are going to do it' stage.

Writing stuff down makes a huge difference.

I think I need to do planning, but with the wiggle room Steph mentioned. I tried planning out my weekends for a while, but when it came to the time, I would just feel not in the mood to do what was on the list (even though it wasn't necessarily chore-type stuff). I was worried wiggle room would help with the self-sabotage, but I'm beginning to think the lack of it made me fight against my own scheduling.

The weird part is, I don't have this problem with my work-work stuff, only my leisure time stuff (and especially leisure time chores).

I was just talking to a couple today about scheduling their 'special time.'

Ha! THAT, of course, we don't schedule, and we pay a price for not planning. We both procrastinate, and good intentions don't count for much when it's suddenly midnight and "Want to have sex?" translates to "You are going to get 5 hours of sleep tonight!"

(And yes, I am Sheldon-like enough that a simple "Want to have sex?" is much better than trying out some smoooov moves on me. Also, we've been together for 5 years; the moves are no longer smooooov.)

So, uh, yeah. We really need to schedule sexytimes. Or even just movietimes.

One thing I do is "plan to do nothing" Not have nothing planned, plan to do nothing. It's a huge recharge. I deliberately don't worry about unfolded laundry or errands that need to be run. I just relax. I did it on the 4th, and it was great. Until WW3 with fireworks started in my 'hood.

Also, we've been together for 5 years

What? You have not!

when it came to the time, I would just feel not in the mood to do what was on the list (even though it wasn't necessarily chore-type stuff). I was worried wiggle room would help with the self-sabotage, but I'm beginning to think the lack of it made me fight against my own scheduling.

Seriously, having a 2- to 3-day range to decide what day I'm going to clean the dog bed and what day I'm going to clean the goddamn baseboards was a GODSEND. Because a 1-day assignment meant that if I wasn't in the mood for baseboards, then I just destroyed my nifty schedule and had to shift other stuff around.

This way allows for a more organic shifting. And, honestly, allotting 2-3 days for a given chore did NOT lead to me doing them all on Day 3. A lot of times I would look at the calendar and think, "Hey, I can clean the dog bed in 20 minutes! I'M DOING IT NOW!" And then I could cross it off and the next day or 2 were "free." Which is cool.

records of, for instance, holiday dinners

Steph, my mom and I do that just for Christmas - we end up having somewhere between 8 and 25 people over depending on who is in town, so we have a grid with # of people = ham/potatoes/turkey size, then we spilt the shopping and cooking. That's the only way we could do it. I have NO idea how my grandmother did it all by herslef, especially since she did a sit-down dinner for 25 to 30 back in the day oy!

I'm marking posts and taking mental notes on this whole conversation. I am awful at keeping a schedule.

I'm home from my uncle's funeral. Both the priest and one of his granddaughter's did a wonderful job saying just the right things about him. I'm going to miss him so much.

Also, we've been together for 5 years

What? You have not!

Trufax. Actually, 5 years and about a week shy of 5 months.

I've lived with him for over 3 1/2 years.

...I KNOW!!!!!

Trufax. Actually, 5 years and about a week shy of 5 months.

I've lived with him for over 3 1/2 years.

Wow! Where did all that time go?