Thanks for the support yesterday. I am in a better headspace today, although, sadly, I think it's because work is busy that it's going by quickly.
I definitely need to work on getting the most out of my free time, as I never seem to have enough of it, yet I find myself wasting vast chunks of it either dithering about what to do (paralyzed by choices), or just not doing anything worthwhile. I seem to handle it better when I've made firm commitment to something and force myself to stick through with it, but this weekend was a step back - I had two commitments but I blew them off instead of sticking with them. I have a feeling if I'd forced myself on the first, I would have stuck with both and had a pretty good weekend. Ah, well. Try harder next time I guess.
Oh, Frank, I totally do the same thing. I am not good with large unstructured chunks of time. See also, since I got laid off. I'm trying to learn patience with myself, and just know that my productivity ebbs and flows without judging it too harshly.
Thanks, javachik.
eta this is the kind of mood I'm in (warning for title of tumblr): [link]
Toddson, she doesn't get a "bless her heart" from me. "Crookeder than a barrel of snakes," more like. She's not quite Dolores Umbridge, but she's a distant cousin. Incompetent and sneaky is a nasty mix.
Maybe my mood isn't exactly peachy and nice because I'm not feeling particularly great and I have a headache, and therefore maybe I'm being harsher than I need to be, but dammit, when I say make sure everything in the yard is back in the house or back where you find it, that doesn't mean except the lawn chairs that were taken off the porch and put in the yard, the papers and trash all over the yard, and the shoes left underneath the trees. I pulled them all out of the car, unpacked it, and made them clean it. Now they're all sitting on the living room floor in silence unitl I decide I'm done being mad.
I am not good with large unstructured chunks of time.
I'm seriously debating keeping a log of day-to-day activities, so I can see where wasted time is coming into play. I can already hear that nagging little voice in my head going "I don't wanna!!!" like a spoiled toddler, but I've got to start ignoring the little shit.
I do that! I call it "Buffistas".
So the question is really the answer, then?
There is another choice, between suppressing and succumbing to the spoiled brat we all have: validation. Acknowledge it, and then do it anyway. Sometimes it helps to have a conversation with your inner child, like learning to parent yourself well. I know for myself that if I ignore or tamp down on an emotion, it just tends to pop back up and smack me in the face harder.
Frank, check out the VITALS strategy: [link] It's been very helpful for me in learning to do things I don't want to. You don't have to do all the steps, and some will probably work better for you than others.
Trifecta:
Also, Frank, feel free to ignore my advice or tell me to shove it. I'm just sharing things that have worked for me, because it seems we have similar issues. I won't take it personally if it's not helpful or wanted.
Rain seems to be in a lull. Off to run errands.
