Thank you, Nora. I should be gone before you get home. As a data point, do you pay your water or is it included in your rent? Max thinks he's trying to "run game" on me.

It is included in my rent. We pay for electricity and that's it. (well, cable/internet too, but that's not usually ever under a landlord's purview)

Yeah, I'd definitely push back some on this, he's rapidly becoming slumlord-tastic. Let us know if there's anything the neighborhood association can do as well.

Hmmm... man, I hope I don't have to move suddenly, but this dude is seeming sketchier and sketchier.

Frank, good for you for being proactive, even if you don't feel like it. In DBT that's called Opposite Action.

Boy, am I glad I had a lovely weekend and a sweet boy to think about, or else I'd be setting the world on fire right now. If I can get through all this without smoking, I can definitely quit for good.

Your lease is for 6 months, right? It's just tough because things are heavily rigged toward landlords here.

Well, it's for 12, but he said we could change it to 6. But I'm the only one with copies. Is there a website for tenants?

I get to have a baseline mammogram. Being 35 sucks.

As much as I despise the tit squishing, I can't help think it must be worse for women with small tits. How can you get a proper flattening in the scanner when there's not much to flatten?

And I think I missed mine last year. Yay, 50.

OMG. I must break in to flail about the most amazing stupid human trick I just witnessed.

In my neighborhood, it is pretty much all parallel parking.

Walking the little guy just now, I noticed a fellow (mid 20s), standing with the back of his knees in the middle of the front grill of a parked car.

A moment later, I realized that his late-life parents or grandparents were attempting to avoid bumping into the car behind them by backing up ONTO THE YOUNG MAN'S KNEES!

They were using him as a bumper.

I can imagine an insurance company replacing a dented bumper. Would his health insurance cover two new knees when he VOLUNTEERED to stand behind a car being parked by an old guy?

I'm glad I didn't shriek, but I HAD to comment.

His response..."No big deal."

I just wish I had a Darwin Award application on me.

Preserving my reputation among the family or just being a shithead? You decide today on our newest episode of "Aimee's Batshit Crazy Family"!

So I was just at the library and on my way downstairs to check out my finds (I found an awesome book on the history of Broadway Musical theater and a book about a year in the life of QE2). As I walked to the stairs, I looked to my right and there was my Crazy Uncle K! So I said, "Hi K! How are you?" He looked up and his mouth formed the word "Hi." but then saw it was me, drew his mouth up into a very good impersonation of a butthole, and turned away from me. I asked, "How are you doing?" in the most cheerful of voices. He walked away from me, shooing me with his hand, as though I were a distasteful insect.

I laughed to myself as I went down the stairs and checked out my books. I don't ever want to give him the opportunity to say to other family memebers that I am rude or ignore him when we run into each other.

I also say, kill 'em with kindness and fuck him if he can't take a joke.