MY BIG FAT CRANKY ALL-AMERICAN FAMILY

smonster, there's a lingering soreness, and I don't want to be lifting anything heavy or make any sudden moves, but it's a 1000x better than yesterday.

I am horrible about icing injuries, but this has made me a convert. It might turn into a version of Chris Rock's "Robotussin" cure: [link]

"I think my brain is leaking out my ears."

"Well, put SOME ICE on it! That'll fix it!"

anyone southern? can anyone FAKE sourthern?

I can fake a central North Carolina accent. And I have a mother who thinks anyone Republican and Christian should be thrown out of the country, but doesn't understand how non-Christian me could take offense (and that doesn't even touch the way she reacted when I came out to my parents -- "We didn't dress you in girls' clothes when you were a baby, so you can't be gay.") And a cousin who's told me (a Federal government employee) more than once that he'd like to see a military coup in this country.

Vortex, could you start looking at jobs in ... would California be far enough? ooh! HAWAII! if nothing else, the weather would be nicer

I have a mother (grandfather's daughter) who wants to be in charge of what colors are fashionable, and cried when I told her my brother's best friend was gay (she couldn't even say gay, she said happy) (thereby delaying my own coming out for a year) (and that was 12 years ago and we still just. don't. talk about it.) and who believes the confederate flag isn't racist.

Also, for point/counterpoint, we could put my grandpa (from mom's side) up against my grandma (from dad's side), who when I came out to her said, "Oh, I know that! I've known that for years! I don't care, it's your personal life and I love you." Never coming out to grandpa, btw.

and who believes the confederate flag isn't racist.

You know, people are welcome to fight about that all day long. What I don't get is how the Confederate battle flag can be regarded as anything but entirely unpatriotic. It's flat-out seperatist by definition. So you chase down assorted immigrants and communists and muslims and hippies and black power types as seditious un-american threats to our way of life, but someone that proudly flies a flag that was actually factually flown in an effort to overthrow the US government is just a good ol' boy never meanin' no harm? I'll never understand it.

But that's different, those Southerners were Good Noble God Fearing Bible Believing Family Loving People trying to Save Their Way of Life which the God Hating Commie Yankees were Trying to Take Away.

It's OKAY to try and Secede When You are GNGFBBFLP Because it SAYS SO in the Declaration of Independence!!!!!

Yeah, Captain Logic isn't driving that tugboat. The sainted General Lee is.

Or, more likely, Nathan Bedford Forrest.

It's OKAY to try and Secede When You are GNGFBBFLP Because it SAYS SO in the Declaration of Independence!!!!!

• dies laughing.*

I may have just ranted about (my love for) the serial comma here: [link] , instead of doing it in here.

*snif* I feel like one of our pet arguments has grown up and taken over the whole internets! I'm so proud, except when I'm like, "waitaminnit, that's OURS".