It's PNW weather today. After the last few glorious, sunny days it's sort of a surprise. Also? Our weather promises to get up close to 70 F this week. And really? I do not miss 90 F and muggy at.all.

So very much this.

Question: is there any possible tactful way to ask our housesitter to NOT have sex in our bed (or anywhere in our house) with his girlfriend/FWB/whatever she is? Or is it understood that if your housesitter has a partner, they will inevitably have sex in your house?

(Our housesitter is awesome, and he is not my concern. His partner is rude and tacky and annoying as fuck [every time we see her -- EVERY TIME -- she asks us, "So when are you getting married? Don't you think it's been long enough? Get married and I'll get one of those internet licenses and marry you!" EVERY TIME], and Tim and I both agree that it's reasonable to assume that she's going to want to have copious kinky sex with the housesitter in our bed. And that gives me the weebies big time.)

Soooo...is there a Miss Manners-approved way to ask our housesitter, "So, the dog gets glucosamine with both meals, the black kitty will beg for food all day but ignore that, and by the way, please don't have sex with D. in our bed?" ?

Buy a lock for your bedroom door?

Buy a lock for your bedroom door?

Might make it kind of hard for *him* to sleep there, since he's the housesitter.

I mean, my assumption is that there's no tactful way to ask that, and so we'll just grin and bear it, and assume that there will be sex, and we'll immolate the sheets when we get back.

(He's house-sat for us several years now, but has never had a partner before this. So it's never been an issue until now, and probably wouldn't be an issue if she weren't so...tacky.)

t edit But, like I said, I don't know -- do people assume their housesitter will have sex in their home?

I do. We have a "guest" set of sheets for our bed. They are only used for anyone not us. So we put them on before we go, and strip them when we get back and put on our own clean sheets.

Honestly, someone else sexing it up in my bed, that doesn't bug me. Someone elses' hair or sweat in my bed does.

I didn't know if it was a normal assumption, because our housesitter has never had a partner (while housesitting for us) the past few years that he's done it.

We do have guest sheets, so that'll be the plan.

Steph, what about something like "it probably goes without saying, but we'd rather you not have any overnight guests."?

Honestly, Steph, I don't know that there is. We actually have the same issue right now. Our housesitter has a partner now, and I thought about specifying, but felt like I couldn't. The angle I was going to take, "moral code; expectations of our donors" probably wouldn't work for you. But in the end I decided it wouldn't work for us either. I mean, she's an adult. She has adult children. She's thrilled to have this very wonderful man in her life. She lost her house and was living with roommates for the past several months and hasn't had any privacy pretty much that whole time. We have an awesome king bed. I figure it's going to happen.

I did have to specify "no pot," but I suspect that one went out the window, too, because her adult daughter came to live with her during the evacuation time, and we know she does smoke, extensively, and given where she is on her recovery from suicidal depression, it's not an issue I care to push with her. But I am antsy about it, because I really could get into trouble with donors if someone gets busted doing drugs of any flavor in my house, whether or not I'm there.

FWIW, I always had sex at the place when I housesat.