Buy a lock for your bedroom door?

Buy a lock for your bedroom door?

Might make it kind of hard for *him* to sleep there, since he's the housesitter.

I mean, my assumption is that there's no tactful way to ask that, and so we'll just grin and bear it, and assume that there will be sex, and we'll immolate the sheets when we get back.

(He's house-sat for us several years now, but has never had a partner before this. So it's never been an issue until now, and probably wouldn't be an issue if she weren't so...tacky.)

t edit But, like I said, I don't know -- do people assume their housesitter will have sex in their home?

I do. We have a "guest" set of sheets for our bed. They are only used for anyone not us. So we put them on before we go, and strip them when we get back and put on our own clean sheets.

Honestly, someone else sexing it up in my bed, that doesn't bug me. Someone elses' hair or sweat in my bed does.

I didn't know if it was a normal assumption, because our housesitter has never had a partner (while housesitting for us) the past few years that he's done it.

We do have guest sheets, so that'll be the plan.

Steph, what about something like "it probably goes without saying, but we'd rather you not have any overnight guests."?

Honestly, Steph, I don't know that there is. We actually have the same issue right now. Our housesitter has a partner now, and I thought about specifying, but felt like I couldn't. The angle I was going to take, "moral code; expectations of our donors" probably wouldn't work for you. But in the end I decided it wouldn't work for us either. I mean, she's an adult. She has adult children. She's thrilled to have this very wonderful man in her life. She lost her house and was living with roommates for the past several months and hasn't had any privacy pretty much that whole time. We have an awesome king bed. I figure it's going to happen.

I did have to specify "no pot," but I suspect that one went out the window, too, because her adult daughter came to live with her during the evacuation time, and we know she does smoke, extensively, and given where she is on her recovery from suicidal depression, it's not an issue I care to push with her. But I am antsy about it, because I really could get into trouble with donors if someone gets busted doing drugs of any flavor in my house, whether or not I'm there.

FWIW, I always had sex at the place when I housesat.

I mean, my assumption is that there's no tactful way to ask that, and so we'll just grin and bear it, and assume that there will be sex, and we'll immolate the sheets when we get back.

I think this. I mean, there are a number of things that if I don't KNOW them, I can pretend they don't happen/didn't exist. My denial muscles are very strong.

That said, it's easier to not know if he cleans up, doesn't leave condoms around, changes the sheets, etc. So perhaps Tim could have a word, if you don't think the housesitter is discreet.

I feel like pot is different--(a) because it's illegal and (b) because they're smoking in the house, and stinking it up. (Because of (b) I would have much less issue with someone making pot brownies in my house while I was gone)

Sorry about the must-be-seen-ness of it all, though. Arghh.

This whole thing has been wacky. But I believe I am on the mend.