BIDs are wily motherfuckers.

A good friend of mine did the weight watchers thang and has gone from an 18 to a 6 over the past year and a bit. And yet...

Here is how the demons get her now -- certain people are FIXATED on her weight loss... co-workers, one supervisor in particular, various relatives, comment on it CONSTANTLY.

Just as before she felt somehow defined as a "fat girl" by those around her she now has these constant "affirmations" that somehow she's a better and stronger person because she lost a bunch of weight. She even gets it at her WW meetings, that its some enormous virtue that she's gotten below her goal weight. People fixate on it, grill her pretty thoroughly at odd times about what she's eating or not and how can THEY do it...

Alternately, some "friends" attribute vanity or haughtnyess to her THAT IS IN THEIR HAIDS and have all but cut her off. Or she says "no thanks" to some offered treat and gets a lecture about "taking it too far"... from people for whom it is in no way conceivable that its their place to do so.

The end result of which is that she's had to struggle with horrible self-doubt over being thin -- which is sometimes as overwhelming as being heavy had been. It's amazingly painful to her that she is every bit as defined by her body in the minds of others as she ever was. She's reluctant to say exactly how many pounds she's lost, what she did to do it. She's having a hard time enough adjusting to her "new" body without the constant commentary from so many of the people around her.

She's also subjected to fat jokes. She should LOVE those now, right? That should be the HEIGHT of hillarity to her. It makes her want to declare (and a few times I believe she has) that she was a fat girl and her heart will always BE a fat girl and that is no way to talk about her people.

She looks so very different. She's finally settling into her new clothes and shape. I want to jump up and down and hug her because she's worked so hard and done so well, but I know it pains her. Sometimes a few of us will mention her cheekbones or how leggy she looks in an outfit but we're careful to never couch it in terms of thinnness or virtue... its all pretty amazing.

Y'all remind me next time I have a dance lesson (Thursday) that I need to EAT before going?

About to fall over, I swear.

A few years ago I lost about 25 pounds in maybe 6-8 weeks. I got so much affirmation that it was seriously all I could do to pull up and level out. If I had been just a smidge more depressed at the time, I would have kept going.

DCJ, that video is EPIC. Seriously, what an amazing feat of...well, every kind of thought! The planner in me wants to go have a lie down to let the detaildetaildetail fascination pass.

Phew.

Barb! You. Must. Fuel. A friend once asked me if 'Contra Dancing' meant standing still...yuckyuck...but falling over is definitely anti-dancing.

As for me, I've been fasting today. I did a 7 day prep and have been drinking 8 oz. of either water or a special juice, every half hour.

Believe me, I am not hungry.

And, I actually feel pretty good. Maybe a bit muzzy, but I didn't sleep well last night, so I'm chalking the muz up to that.

I haven't done one of these for a while and I'm really glad I got myself together enough to do it.

I fear for the new, frat-boy renters next door, if they have another party tonight, though. I might just snap.

The testosterone is overflowing over there and it got a bit out of control. I swear, every time I look over into their yard, one of the five is punching another.

My landlord facilitated a conversation with the most coherent of the dudes this afternoon, in which I assured him that I do not want to harsh their buzz, but the screaming like apes at 12:30am is not on.

Seriously, guys. Drink yourself as close to death as you like but please, please dial down the decibels for goodness sake. There are children in this neighborhood.

Most importantly, he was able to articulate why he loved this school and why, for the first time, he enjoyed going to school.

This is so extremely awesome, my first thought was, "I bet that award is just the icing on the awesomecakes of Barb's week." (On the grounds that I consider good cake way more important than icing of any quality.)

Since we are on the BID topic, can I please get some applause for not smothering an otherwise quite decent supervisor.... Last month, an individual at one of the houses gained 10 pounds in the space of less than a week. This individual has congestive heart failure, and consumes no more than 1500 calories per day. At the time of the weight gain, there was considerable evidence of pitting edema, i.e. visible and palpable signs that this was water weight, as opposed to adipose tissue. Cue panicked encouragement to restrict food intake. Also, cue doctor prescribing a temporary doubling of diuretic dose. Results a week and a half later: a loss of 11 pounds. Frickin' supervisor told the individual it was because of all the hard work of cutting back on eating.

I wanted to put a pillow over the supervisor's face and hold it down until she stopped kicking.

Large round of applause for amazing self-control above and beyond the call, WindSparrow.

That's just crazy.

Barb, so good to hear about Nate's success and happiness.

Trudy, hi! Forgot to say that before, and how awful for your friend.

Steph, thoughtless skinny bitch, indeed. She needs a cluesticking with a telephone pole.

Since we're at the beach, the BIDs are hard to avoid - but as I noted to my sister, I'm less self-conscious about my body now than I was in high school, when I barely weighed enough to donate blood. Thank god for rugby and bellydance. Now I just need to quit smoking and find some new exercise, although apparently I've lost weight from working outside.

And in more mememe, I've burnt the backs of my thighs. I do it every time. The sunscreen comes off on the chair, and I forget or am too lazy to reapply. Dur.

Barb! Protein before a workout is your friend!

I try to be very, very careful about complimenting weight loss. For all the reasons stated above. I have definitely experienced the depression-related weight loss, and the perverse pleasure that it brings.

Wish I had more time at the beach. Also wish there were "non-talking" sections at the beach. We had three very chatty groups around us today, and one women in particular would. not. shut. the fuck. up. I tried to breathe and focus on the ocean, but I pretty much failed. Oh, well.

Oh, yeah, I knew I forgot something. Windsparrow, WTF? That is some major clueless stupidity.

"Fuck you," can be a very heartfelt response. "Heartfelt" does not mean tender or sympathetic or kind.

"Fuck you," can be a very heartfelt response. "Heartfelt" does not mean tender or sympathetic or kind.

Words to live by.