Wow, it sounds like she missed the point by a mile, Tep. Have others responded?

Yup, basically saying, "Oh, I *so* get it! It is SO hard to walk down the street and be objectified!" Which, again, I don't refute. I don't know what it's like to be an average-size woman and walk down the street, but I'm fairly goddamn aware that it sucks for women of every size.

But, really, you gotta bring me into your issues like that? I would even have been cool with her referring to me *if* she didn't title her piece "Fat Chicks..." Because there's NOTHING in it about fat chicks, other than the fat chick who inspired her to write.

Oh, and BTW, "enormous?" Do I have to kick someone else's ass for activating the BID's? Because she's making you apply innaccurate and hurtful perjoratives to yourself.

I tend to be braced for the general fat-hating bullshit one sees...well, pretty much everywhere. But I wasn't expecting a direct reference to me, posted online. Jesus. I had no defenses up for that one. So...yeah. There's some self-hating going on, but I'm getting it in line. Kind of.

Hey, I go to the beach in 3 weeks, in a swimsuit! So that prospect isn't FREAKING ME OUT right now, or anything.

You know, body image is such a weird, weird thing. I mean, I lost huge amounts of weight and got to the best shape of my life (and felt great for a bit there) only to have it all derailed by the fibroids and severe anemia and subsequent surgery. So I've gained weight that I swore I'd never gain back and I try to tell myself that for a bit there, it was beyond my control. That it was more important for my body to rest and recuperate. So okay-- it took a whole lot longer than I expected. But now, I'm feeling a whole lot better and have embarked on a physical activity regime that's in keeping with my interests and gradually building up my strength and stamina and I'm hoping that eventually, I'll get back in shape, mostly because I know I'll feel better. I can carry weight gracefully up to a certain point and I've passed that point. I'm uncomfortable and feel ungainly.

However-- that said, last week I got cat-called for the first time in years and my dance teacher mentioned in passing that he thought I had a wonderful figure.

::blink blink::

Okay. Of course, the cat-calling was in New York and my dance teacher acknowledges that he's aware that I want to lose the weight as much to get in shape and feel better than for any major aesthetic reasons (well, I DO want to get back into my awesome wardrobe), but still-- what are they seeing that I can't? Because seriously, y'all-- I look in the mirror and I see a heavy, ungainly person.

Like I said: BID=weird.

begins reciting the incantation that banishes the Body Image Demons back to Hell.

No shit, Laga.

::chants louder::

Tep, having that info, I would have no compunctions about calling her out on that, using basically the same words you used earlier.

Really, titling it Fat Chicks and then pulling my personal name into you? @@.

I am a bad influence, because I would so refute that bullshit. Sister needs a cluesticking. I get if you don't want to start a BS thing that will provoke a flamewar or something, but, damn. Want me to go bite her?

Barb, BID's aren't slain easily, but you need spit in its eye a lot, because you are a lovely woman whose instructor thinks she could pursue professional dance. Remember?

Arse 'em all, ladies.

I'm rereading "Karen" for the first time since fifth grade or so. Attitudes toward disabilities in the forties were scary.

I went to the store for coffee and peanut butter and came home with Taco Bell and stuff to make biscuits and gravy for breakfast.

But did you get the coffee and peanut butter?

yes!

Once again my eyes are bigger than my stomach. I wonder if I can make chilaquiles with Taco Bell nachos.

Steph, that woman is clearly insensitive and all get out. It is ALWAYS, to my way of thinking, unacceptable to drift away from 'I' statements and make one's opinions about anyone else.

At the same time, when I read your first post about what she said, I just shook my head thinking, what a twit that woman is, trying to be a 'sister.' "Reclaiming" the language for our sistren, or whatever.

I just wish it didn't hit you so hard. You are a beautiful, giving, brilliant person in every way. You don't deserve to feel hurt by that woman's cluelessness.

(Wow. How many 1950's points do I get for using 'that woman' so many times?)

Spent a lot of time skimming today. And since the BID conversation is current, can I ask where I can get and RMA for the ones I have? I'm not supposed to have any, you see, I'm a guy. Other guys have told me so. I should post the pic of me twenty years ago when I didn't even ask any woman out thinking I was too fat then.

Oh well, at least it gives me a slight insight to the nerve-wracking ones society has foisted upon women.

On the other hand, I am here to post this, as I thought Facebook wasn't good enough to contain this YouTube video of the Grand Rapids Lip-dub of "American pie" by Don McLean.

[link]

Worth the ten minute video, and the pride in humanity is priceless.