And both my kids had good years, Isaac had an amazing kinder year. I feel like we've been incredibly lucky with our kids' teachers so far.

Erin, I don't think M's mother is very smart if she doesn't realize that you living in PA would lead to a world of hurt for her. (Obviously you aren't moving, but I'm just bemused that she's not thinking this through very well.)

ION, some people, I swear to god. I've been dealing (er, dealing in my brain, I mean; trying to process stuff she said) for 2 days with this woman on another site (the kinky social networking site) who took something I wrote and decided to turn it into this whole Thing about "fat chicks." Only she means it as "a heartfelt response" and then goes on about the societal pain she feels as a size 2.

I'm cool with that -- I don't think women of any size get off easy when it comes to society being shitty. But, really? You know me -- you know *me,* in person, and know I'm enormous -- and you write about "fat chicks" and call it a "heartfelt response"?

Yup, I put my writing out there and people can respond to it. But, for the record, what I was writing about was that I don't think it's okay to compliment curvy/fat/BBW women by saying "they're *real* women," because that's insulting by exclusion to women who are average size or thin.

So her response is "fat chicks"? But it's "heartfelt"?

I'm kind of feeling moved to reply -- "heartfelt," of course -- about "skinny thoughtless bitches." But I won't.

But, wow. Way to make me hate myself with your "heartfelt" response. Classy. (I would reply to her privately, but I still can't think of any way I could do it that would NOT be ragey and nasty as hell. So until I can regain some equanimity and dial down the self-loathing, no way am I responding.)

So her response is "fat chicks"? But it's "heartfelt"?

Some people's hearts suck.

She's confusing "heart" with another part of her anatomy.

Wow, it sounds like she missed the point by a mile, Tep. Have others responded?

Oh, and BTW, "enormous?" Do I have to kick someone else's ass for activating the BID's? Because she's making you apply innaccurate and hurtful perjoratives to yourself.

You and I are the same size. And neither of us are "enormous."

She can kiss my curvy, large, smooth white ass.

So her response is "fat chicks"? But it's "heartfelt"?

Some people's hearts suck.

See, I don't care that she wanted to write about how, as a woman considered beautiful by society, she's actually afraid to leave the house because of harassment and such. Her experiences are legitimate. But, really, to title her piece "fat chicks"? I just can't work up the energy to be the better person here, so I have to ignore it right now. But I'm really, really stung by it.

We have a widely overlapping friends list on there, and she explicitly namechecks me at the beginning of her writing, saying it's a repsonse to my writing. So everyone sees that "Fat Chicks -- a Heartfelt Response" is in reference to me.

AWESOME. We all know I'm fat; I don't actually need someone else to dedicate their writing to me to POINT THAT OUT as they lament the problems their size 2 body creates.

The list of people I need to punch in the neck just keeps growing.

Wow, it sounds like she missed the point by a mile, Tep. Have others responded?

Yup, basically saying, "Oh, I *so* get it! It is SO hard to walk down the street and be objectified!" Which, again, I don't refute. I don't know what it's like to be an average-size woman and walk down the street, but I'm fairly goddamn aware that it sucks for women of every size.

But, really, you gotta bring me into your issues like that? I would even have been cool with her referring to me *if* she didn't title her piece "Fat Chicks..." Because there's NOTHING in it about fat chicks, other than the fat chick who inspired her to write.

Oh, and BTW, "enormous?" Do I have to kick someone else's ass for activating the BID's? Because she's making you apply innaccurate and hurtful perjoratives to yourself.

I tend to be braced for the general fat-hating bullshit one sees...well, pretty much everywhere. But I wasn't expecting a direct reference to me, posted online. Jesus. I had no defenses up for that one. So...yeah. There's some self-hating going on, but I'm getting it in line. Kind of.

Hey, I go to the beach in 3 weeks, in a swimsuit! So that prospect isn't FREAKING ME OUT right now, or anything.

You know, body image is such a weird, weird thing. I mean, I lost huge amounts of weight and got to the best shape of my life (and felt great for a bit there) only to have it all derailed by the fibroids and severe anemia and subsequent surgery. So I've gained weight that I swore I'd never gain back and I try to tell myself that for a bit there, it was beyond my control. That it was more important for my body to rest and recuperate. So okay-- it took a whole lot longer than I expected. But now, I'm feeling a whole lot better and have embarked on a physical activity regime that's in keeping with my interests and gradually building up my strength and stamina and I'm hoping that eventually, I'll get back in shape, mostly because I know I'll feel better. I can carry weight gracefully up to a certain point and I've passed that point. I'm uncomfortable and feel ungainly.

However-- that said, last week I got cat-called for the first time in years and my dance teacher mentioned in passing that he thought I had a wonderful figure.

::blink blink::

Okay. Of course, the cat-calling was in New York and my dance teacher acknowledges that he's aware that I want to lose the weight as much to get in shape and feel better than for any major aesthetic reasons (well, I DO want to get back into my awesome wardrobe), but still-- what are they seeing that I can't? Because seriously, y'all-- I look in the mirror and I see a heavy, ungainly person.

Like I said: BID=weird.

begins reciting the incantation that banishes the Body Image Demons back to Hell.

No shit, Laga.

::chants louder::

Tep, having that info, I would have no compunctions about calling her out on that, using basically the same words you used earlier.

Really, titling it Fat Chicks and then pulling my personal name into you? @@.

I am a bad influence, because I would so refute that bullshit. Sister needs a cluesticking. I get if you don't want to start a BS thing that will provoke a flamewar or something, but, damn. Want me to go bite her?

Barb, BID's aren't slain easily, but you need spit in its eye a lot, because you are a lovely woman whose instructor thinks she could pursue professional dance. Remember?

Arse 'em all, ladies.