I think "cheer up, little buckeroo!"

I knew it! Cheer up, you slacker of sad!

I am interested in your product, and will fund you on Kickstarter.

First, off I'm doing away with pills and coming up with a stylish yet intriguing series of delivery systems. We might start with those little cigarette-holder-opium-bowl-thingies you see in Watchmen. Or possibly we shall go to tinctures administered through something that looks exactly like an Art Nouveau Absinthe dispenser. Of course, the raw sugar cubes will also be laced with drugs and everybody's mental health will occur in medically sanctioned, silk pillowed dens of sane iniquity. For which I have coined the phrase "saniquity."

Saniquity Dens will be located in residential neighborhoods, replacing Starbucks, and also in office parks, looking suspiciously like Jaye's I Dream of Jeannie styled trailer.

askye, I agree with you 100%. And your mom is awesome.

We wouldn't need all these fancy-schmancy diagnoses if they just brought back laudanum.

We wouldn't need all these fancy-schmancy diagnoses if they just brought back laudanum.

Right? You know what my favorite opiate of the masses is? Opium!

We wouldn't need all these fancy-schmancy diagnoses if they just brought back laudanum.

Trufax, my brother and I had a conversation today about what junkies we would be if only we could get ahold of morphine on a regular basis. (Hey, at least we recognize our addictive tendencies and steer clear of the dealers, you know?)

You can have all my morphine if I can have your codeine.

t waves her codeine in the air. waves it like she just don't care.

It's the good stuff, too. What they gave me when I had the pertussis.

I shouldn't have to point it out, but I'm not saying a kid can't have issues. I'm just remembering myself as a kid and all my kid friends, and how many diagnoses would have been given to us when we thought we were just kids.

Oh, I appreciate all the opiates I've had for various legitimate medical diagnoses (codeine for pleurisy, percocet for the back, morphine for the back) -- they all make me floaty to various degrees. I like 'em all.

(NOT A JUNKIE. I SWEARS.)

A lot of times, a diagnosis is a short cut some parents make. In this particular case, it's very real.

Although some of it might be mitigated if the parents used any sort of discipline at home. From an outsider's perspective, that is.