Uggh, WS. ::sigh::

So, I was all ready to congratulate myself for loading the dishwasher and running it, and making sure the kitchen isn't a total depressing shithole for tomorrow. And then I opened a letter from my bank... my landlady cashed two rent checks close together (she did warn me), including my first check without a roomie, and NSF. Even with my overdraft account. Fuckity fuck fucking adult!fail fuck. I've emailed her with an apology and explanation and offer to pay her bounced check fee and an additional fee if necessary and when I can pay her. I have *got* to get a better handle on my finances.

Fuck. Not how I wanted to end my night. Oh, well.

WS, not fun. I can understand maybe not addressing certain issues with clients directly and approaching them obliquely ("Say, I think you might have ODD and a schizoaffective disorder! See ya next time!) but wouldn't you think a psych would want to address possible issues with a person with whom you are continuing therapy with?

Like "Let's talk about your relationship with food. I'm concerned with the effect depression has one your physical health. What's your eating patterns like when you have a bad day or a lot of stress? What's your version of a typical day?" or something.

I dunno -- I'm not a pro. But I see therapists and basically, aren't they working for you, to try and help you with your issues? It's like if you went to a doctor and they noted "Mole looks suspicious, might tell her one day."

ETA: Oh, smonster, I have BTDT and it freaking sucks. WE HATES IT.

Windy that sucks.

So part of me packing is... okay it's cat vacuuming really -- is going through all my cds labeled "Stuff" and "old comptuer stuff" and "stuff2" and figuring out what's on them and what needs to go on my computer and what can be tossed.

I've found - pictures from San Francisco! Pictures from my dance recital thing.

Fanfic! That I wrote. Including half written stuff I can sorta remember and some stuff I don't remember at all but I know is mine.

I realized I used to be so active - not physically active but a participant in things. Reading fic, writing, communicating with people about tv shows. And I slowly withdrew and became really stagnant.

I'm hoping that the move will help me change that. I especially want to start writing again.

I dunno -- I'm not a pro. But I see therapists and basically, aren't they working for you, to try and help you with your issues? It's like if you went to a doctor and they noted "Mole looks suspicious, might tell her one day."

This Psych NP isn't a therapist, she's the one managing my psychotropic medications (Welbutrin, Concerta, and Trazadone as needed for insomnia). I'm also seeing a therapist, so attacking this whole thing on two fronts. I think what ticks me off is that at the first appointment with the NP, I had brought a folder full of not only the intake/history forms that her office had sent for me to fill out and bring with me, but also a month's worth of food journals; and, she didn't look at any of it. Grrr.

{{{{{smonster}}}}} I hate it when I screw up like that too.

I'm hoping that the move will help me change that. I especially want to start writing again.

I really hope that this move does open up your life too. And that you find some outlets for your creativity. You deserve that satisfaction.

Ooh, that IS annoying, WS.

I had brought a folder full of not only the intake/history forms that her office had sent for me to fill out and bring with me, but also a month's worth of food journals; and, she didn't look at any of it. Grrr.

WTFF. Seriously. Ain't that some shit, as Gnarls would say.

askye, I hope this move sparks renewed energy and creativity for you, and brings you much joy.

Ok, really, bed now.

MUH HA HA HAH HAAAAAAAAAAAA

Nutella mugcake, you delicious, enormous, highly-caloric bastard! I have VANQUISHED YOU!!!!!

I HAVE CUT YOU IN HALF!

How did I use half an egg you may ask? Well I DIDN'T, that's what! It's the only damm thing in there that's any GOOD for me so I kept THE WHOLE THING!!!

Then, my pretty, I nuked you for 1:45 and am DEVOURING YOU! And I shall do this again, oh yes I shall. One day soon... I may be menstural. I may have had to be fucking pleasant to some sickeningly happy ex. I may once again wind up watching some crappy impovisor from X years ago in a lead on a sitcom. I SHALL DO IT AGAIN!

Oh my god, y'all. I may have figured out the missing link for my hope issues - tight psoas muscles. Dear god, it's been years I've been dealing with this every day. It would be incredible if I could reduce the pain significantly.