{{{{{Maria and family}}}}} I'm so sorry that the news wasn't better. Please don't be so hard on yourself, you're having a normal reaction to very bad news.
Teppy, good luck for you and Tim in getting that kid to Texas.
Mal: How drunk was I last night? Jayne: Well I dunno. I passed out.
'Our Mrs. Reynolds'
Spike's Bitches 46: Don't I get a cookie?
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
sj - Mar 15, 2011 8:43:14 am PDT #17640 of 30000
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Burrell - Mar 15, 2011 8:46:04 am PDT #17641 of 30000
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!
All I want to do is run away and not deal. That's not grieving; that's avoidance.
Maybe part of you is running away, meanwhile another part is confronting you with own actions. Maybe you need to explore both of these strategies right now. That's what I mean about being kind to yourself. You will work through your feelings in your own way, in your own time. Don't beat yourself up with "shoulds."
DavidS - Mar 15, 2011 8:50:16 am PDT #17642 of 30000
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
Maybe you need to explore both of these strategies right now. That's what I mean about being kind to yourself. You will work through your feelings in your own way, in your own time.
Exactly. The impulse to run away or curl up in a ball is not the same thing as doing it. Give yourself some time to work through these issues. If nothing else, recognize the strength of these feelings is really in exact proportion to how much you love your uncle and your dad. It is a huge loss and it is hard to look it in the face. But I know that you will be there for your Dad and Uncle when you're ready.
Maria - Mar 15, 2011 9:00:18 am PDT #17643 of 30000
Not so nice is that I'm about to ruin a Friday morning for a bunch of people because of a series of unfortunate events and an upset foreign government. - shrift
Sorry. I didn't mean to disappear on you. Work doesn't stop even though I'm working through whether I can fall apart or not.
Thank you so much for... this. I don't even know what to call the last handful of posts, because they're not just encouragement, sympathy, hairpats, and understanding. It's more concrete, like something I can hold on to.
The "shoulds" and the anticipation of all of the various ways this will play out are what's doing me in. I don't know how to turn that off right now.
Wow, I've fooled everyone into thinking I'm strong, including myself. Hello, this is the lie.
NoiseDesign - Mar 15, 2011 9:02:06 am PDT #17644 of 30000
Our wings are not tired
Maria, I'm so very sorry. I wish I had something to say to make it easier, but I don't. I've been there, and it's rough, and miserable, but you will make it through the far side of this. Lean on your friends as much as you can, do anything you need to do to keep yourself sane, and try not to beat up on yourself too much.
ChiKat - Mar 15, 2011 9:02:22 am PDT #17645 of 30000
That man was going to shank me. Over an omelette. Two eggs and a slice of government cheese. Is that what my life is worth?
Wow, I've fooled everyone into thinking I'm strong, including myself. Hello, this is the lie.
That's not a lie. You are strong. And then, sometimes, there are moments you need to lean on people. Doesn't diminish you in the least.
Scrappy - Mar 15, 2011 9:02:36 am PDT #17646 of 30000
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Strong isn't how you feel--strong is what you DO. Feeling overwhelmed or frightened or panicked is normal.
Maria - Mar 15, 2011 9:03:09 am PDT #17647 of 30000
Not so nice is that I'm about to ruin a Friday morning for a bunch of people because of a series of unfortunate events and an upset foreign government. - shrift
And I'm being incredibly selfish by not acknowledging that others are going through some lousy shit right now too. Please know that I am sending you as much strength and love as you've given me.
Beverly - Mar 15, 2011 9:03:35 am PDT #17648 of 30000
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.
Maria, you've had some very wise people tell you that what you're feeling is valid. Believe them. Nobody does well at this, at least not inside where only they can see. You'll find your way to be there for your family, and they will for you.
Teppy, you're an amazing person. I'm glad there is light at the end of the tunnel. And Tim is a wonderful man.
juliana - Mar 15, 2011 9:04:23 am PDT #17649 of 30000
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I miss them all tonight…
Wow, I've fooled everyone into thinking I'm strong, including myself. Hello, this is the lie.
Honey, you are strong. Really, you are. Just because you don't feel it right now doesn't make it any less true. But, sometimes even the strongest people need to lean on someone else for a while, sometimes even the strongest people are completely overwhelmed, sometimes even the strongest people need to let someone else take care of them. It's perfectly natural, and it doesn't make you any less strong. I promise. And I'm so sorry.